Round 9: Schrödinger’s Tanning Bed

So close. It was so close, in fact, that it was reported as true. Then they took it back, like so many broken promises, like so many unfulfilled 5-year plans. In the time it took me to cut and paste a picture of a recently fired, particularly solarium-tanned coach, and email it to Mrs Watson, Terry Terrific had escaped the noose once again.

I have spoken to a few of the Tiger faithful and most of them think that Terry’s performance has been up to scratch. They have somehow rationalised that his hiring was not, essentially, a million dollar plus, 5-year mistake. They are still, unbelievably, blind to the fact that he has somehow left a club that has played finals twice in 27 years in worse shape than he found it. They are willing to put up with him for another four months even though every day he stays there is another turd sandwich in the lunchbox of the Richmond Football Club. This is a man who is more concerned with the press-box than the coaches-box; a man who spends more time in the tanning salon than the training track; a man who has, and will, willingly throw 20-year old kids under the bus to save his own skin; look at what he said to Mitch Morton after the Port Adelaide loss – “You’ve just cost me my career” – Not, “You’ve cost us the game”, or “You’ve cost your team-mates a win”. The guy is a snake and, as we’ve been saying here at Big League for about three years, Richmond will never have a chance until he (and Richo) is gone.

I thought about all this in those 15 minutes of “Schrödinger’s Cat” territory, where Terry was both fired and safe. I thought about this and I thought, “Fuck it, I hope they keep him; that would be some hilarious shit”.


Captain: Gee, NM, Adel, WC, Ess, Syd, StK, Haw
Season Tally: 47-17

Mrs Watson: Gee, Fre, Carl, WC, Ess, PA, StK, Haw
Season Tally: 38-26

Julia Gillard once killed a rat with her teeth… No, wait, that was Chuck Norris.
Season Tally: 40-24