All-Round Garbage, or, Good Luck, Ronnie

The Australian selectors are under the most pressure they’ve felt since the short, unfortunate career of Scott Muller. And their backs-to-the-wall, ace-up-the-sleeve move is Andrew McDonald? He’s the next best batsman in Australia? Really? Are we sure? Was Richard Chee Quee unavailable? Fuck it, get Brad McNamara too. Actually, let’s just replace the Australian middle order with ‘Six and Out’ band members. Except Brett Lee. He’s done. Fast bowlers are like strippers; once they hit 30, well, let’s just say there’s a considerable drop off.

Changes, however, did need to be made. And while I’ve built, maintained and have been driving the Andrew Symonds bandwagon for years, it’s clear that he is not physically right at the moment. And with the public out for blood, it’s not a good time for a soon to be 34 year old that’s probably a bit short of runs to be out of the side. (For the record, in 2008 he averaged just 50 over in tests and is nowhere near the biggest of the team’s problems. For a team that’s struggling to win, his ability to quickly turn the momentum of a match would be handy at the moment. Moving on…) With Symonds and Lee missing through injury and Shane Watson thankfully ruled out, I was looking forward to seeing who would get the call-up for the third test. Here was a chance, with a dead rubber test and several players injured and out of form, to really have a look at the next generation of Australian players. And, no offence intended, but Andrew freakin’ McDonald was not high on my list.

Having a quick look, his numbers this season are pretty good, with both bat and ball, and I’m always pleased to see one of our red-headed friends get their time in the spotlight, but I just wonder if David Hussey might have been the better option, or even someone like Marcus North, both of whom bowl some tify offies. (Batsmen, as opposed to fast bowlers, can continue at their peak well into their 30’s, and Dussey is at his peak right now. Plus, who doesn’t enjoy the long standing Australian tradition of brothers in our national side?)

It’s fair to say that McDonald was included because he’s an all-rounder, which is, apparently, the best credential needed to win a place in the Test team at the moment. And while I have long been fascinated with those players able to turn their hand at both crafts (and have long wondered why more players don't) the thinking of the selectors here is circular and false. Allow me to explain.

The selectors must feel that the bowling attack needs another option because they have been struggling to take wickets, which is fair enough. But being able to first build a large score with the bat applies scoreboard pressure and allows you to keep attacking fields in place, instead dropping men back as Andrew McDonald sends down his 120km/h wobblers. The swapping of Hauritz for Krejza is exactly the same deal; they couldn’t afford the runs Krazy was giving away because they didn’t make enough themselves. So instead they go with Hauritz who never looks like getting a wicket but keeps it tight enough that he eventually bores batsmen out. It’s defensive, conservative and the best way to go about setting the Test team back 10 years.

Perhaps it was the damage done by Andrew Flintoff in the ’05 Ashes, or perhaps it’s the influence of the one day game, but the search for an Australian all-rounder has gone on long enough. As I said in an earlier blog, the rule of the all-rounder is that he must hold his place as a specialist first. It’s not as if Doug Bollinger beat out Ben Hilfenhaus because he averages more with the bat.

For the record, here’s the team I would have picked:

Simon Katich (What can you say? He’s making runs)
Phil Hughes (19 year-old making hundreds every week for NSW)
Dick Ponting (Despite his captaincy, continues to be our best bat by a long way)
Michael Clarke (move him up to 4)
Michael Hussey (shaky ground but has earned his place)
David Hussey (If he’s in now, he’ll play another 50 test)
Brad Haddin (What happened to his glove work?)
Mitch Johnson (Mrs Watson’s man)
Jason Krejza (I can not believe they dropped him like that)
Peter Siddle (Has shown enough, he’ll improve)
Ben Hilfenhaus (I prefer him to Bollinger and Siddle)

Play the best 6 batsmen and the best 4 bowlers available. Not hard, is it?

Good luck ‘Ronnie’, I hope you make a hundred and take five-for.