“At what point does a suggestion, once abhorrent, become the greatest idea you’d never thought of?” – Tim Rogers, 1999.

So, Geelong is into a pre-season Grand Final, and to paraphrase Adam Sandler, whoopity-damn-do, right? Most teams use the pre season as a chance to play their second stringers and have a look at their draft picks, or maybe try a few new tactics; see how the new rules affect the game, and experiment. And as more and more teams are eliminated, supporters will say, “It’s only March, September is what counts… No-one takes the pre-season seriously; none of the good players are in… Look at Carlton, they won it last year and what did it do for them?” Even Big League Little League’s very own Mrs. Watson labelled the NAB Cup, ‘The Battle of Who Could Care Less’ (March 3, 2006). The Geelong Football Club itself has been saying that they ‘didn’t really try’ to make the Grand Final, and that nothing has changed and no-one will be risked this week. But finals success, any finals success, has been few and far between for the Cats. So I say things have changed, I say risks must be taken, I say losing another Grand Final (even if it is pre-season) would do more harm to the club, its supporters and the confidence of an entire town than any torn hamstring ever could.

In recent history, Geelong has had to endure more heartache than any other AFL club, for those unaware here’s a quick rundown: The ’89, ’92, ‘94 and ’95 Grand Finals; the ‘defection’ of a club captain and golden boy; the ill-fated ‘Gary Ayres Era’; watching the front office short-sightedly mortgage the clubs future by continually trading draft picks for washed up, injury prone or just plain awful forwards (Brett Spinks, Mitchell White, Jason Mooney, Brent Grgic); the club constantly being in deep financial shit; the continual failure or underachievement of highly touted recruits (David Ugrinic, Ezra Bray, Marc Woolnough); and year after year of terrible, terrible hair (Trevor Poole, Leigh Tudor, Andrew Wills, Grant Tanner).

Finally, through the patience and teaching of Mark ‘Lips’ Thompson, the football nous of recruiting manager Stephen Wells and the back pocket of fruit ‘n’ veg Godfather Frank Costa, the club starts to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The list is young, the bank balance is black and Kardinia Park has never looked better. Then, before the start of last season, another captain leaves the club at seemingly the worst (or best) possible time, and all for the lure of the mighty greenback. But this is a resilient bunch and the Cats fight through to a preliminary final, all without Leigh Colbert, Ben Graham, compensatory draft picks or salary cap concessions. So, what happens? A dodgy time keeper and Nick fucking Davis manage to break a city’s heart in 3 seconds flat. But you know what would have been worse than missing out on the Grand Final last season? Making the Grand Final and losing again. So, for your own sakes Geelong Football Club, run hard and straight, play Brad Ottens, flip that switch, whatever it takes. Just don’t tell me this isn’t important.