Opening With the Openers, or, Dancing With Your Cousin

With the summer almost upon us, and each football blog gathering more cobwebs than Richo’s exercise bike, I feel that it’s time to introduce the first ever cricket blog to Big League Little League! Being November, the highly anticipated Ashes campaign is about to begin, and we are surely only days away from a leaked video of Shane Warne sleeping with someone, attempting to sleep with someone, or SMSing someone about sleeping with them. There is much to discuss.

I considered writing this blog a number of ways. I thought about doing the standard series preview; about how I would pick the respective teams; about Marcus Trescothick’s mystery stress related illness (that sounds like a Beatles song, doesn’t it? The mystery stress-related illness, is ready to take Trescothick away); and whether or not England has actually heard of dentistry. And I’ll probably get to these eventually, so for now I’ll just start where I start and we’ll go from there…

During the last Ashes series, Australia was working with a fast bowling attack of Brett Lee, a one-legged Glenn McGrath, untried slinger Shaun Tait and Jason Gillespie and Michael Kasprowicz, both of whom played with massive forks sticking out of them. Meanwhile, England opened with swing extraordinaire Simon Jones, Matthew ‘Ugly’ Hoggard and then brought in Harmison and Flintoff as 1st and 2nd change, which is kinda like taking two hot sisters to the dance, then going home with two hotter sisters.

So while last time Australia was left dancing with its cousin, this time things seem a little different. McGrath is back, he’s fit, healthy and has something to prove (the proverbial recipe for success with ‘Pigeon’); Brett Lee is as good as ever and won’t be asked to bowl long spells; and Shane Watson will bat at no.6 and provide good pace and bounce in support. The interesting part will be who they pick as the third specialist fast bowler.

I must say, despite some selections that have initially had me scratching my head, for the most part the Australian selectors have an excellent track record in promoting players to the test team (and, for that matter, dropping them from the team). And they have included 3 players in the squad who will vie for that last place; Mitchell Johnson, Stuart Clark and Shaun Tait.

Personally I think they’ll go with Johnson (Note: Unless Shaun Tait has taken 4/10, or something equally ridiculous, since I’ve written this). The attack could use a bit of variation, and the English haven’t seen too much of the Queensland left arm quickie. I was surprised that Nathan Bracken wasn’t looked at more closely, I mean, sure he looks like Andrew G, but he bowled superbly in the ICC champion’s trophy and in tough spots too. The ball he bowled Chris Gayle with in the final, after Gayle was smashing anything and everything, was one of the best balls I’ve ever seen. Gayle didn’t have a chance.

The one thing Australian selectors have done, and done correctly, is to be patient with change, ensuring the disruption is minimal and that the in-coming player is going to last. So whoever comes into the team will be in there for the long haul. Well, unless of course you’re Brad Hodge, in which case you go back to eating Play-Doh or whatever the hell he does during the week. So looking ahead, Stuart Clark will find his place once McGrath leaves, and if Watson works out at 6, the Aussies will be able to afford to have a couple of slightly more erratic, if not more dangerous, bowlers to work alongside Brett Lee. In the meantime, an attack of McGrath, Lee, Watson and either Johnson or Tait looks pretty dangerous. Then, of course, there are the spinners.


England have a pretty obvious weakness against leg spin so expect plenty of fielders around the bat, plenty of trash talk and plenty of appealing to keep the pressure on. (You gotta love the appeal in cricket; no other sport requires you to actually ask the umpire to make a decision.) There’s not much more to be said about Shane Warne, I mean, sure, the guy seems like a complete asshole off the field, but hey, he’s the best bowler in the world, what are they gonna do, drop him? And I’m pretty sure he would have said as much to the selectors. As for Stuart MacGill, with Watson in the side, he’s guaranteed of getting a game, and I’m all for it. There’s something fun about watching a guy who’s not happy about getting a wicket, but more so pissed off that it took him that long to get it. England, prepare to meet your new dance partner.