Farewell to Season '06 (it's only 152 sleeps til March)

Captain: Great Grand Final, Mrs. Watson, the only thing better would have been a draw, meaning that we’d get another Grand Final to watch and that people would still be reading this blog.

Mrs. Watson: People still read this blog? The hit counter at the bottom there hasn’t moved since Round 22. But you’re right, great Grand Final. Too bad Sydney couldn’t get up though. I would have paid good coin to see the Eagles lose two years in a row. But do you know who I blame? Barry Hall. Where were you Barry? There was no bloody sign of you all day. Even with the umpires giving you dodgy free kicks, and at one stage, even letting you change your mind after you’d played on, you couldn’t drum up even one goal? I did enjoy your early brawl with Cousins, though. Never before have I seen such a girlish attempt at a bit of biffo, as Cousins’ on Saturday. One word of advice though, Hall, if you had of just choked the little twerp on his own Perth Mullet, your day might have ended more positively. What is it with that guy’s hair anyway, Captain? Is it a joke? And why did he feel the need to fix it post-game on Saturday, like some nancy boy Australian Idol contestant?

Captain: Firstly, the Cousins mullet is outstanding. It took us completely by surprise as well; one week it appeared like he had normal hair, the next, he’s got the Adam Hunter special. I think for next year’s photo I might lose the moustache and go the W.A. mini-mullet. Secondly, you’re absolutely correct about those shonky decisions, as Goldstink single-handedly umpired the Swans back into the game during the 3rd quarter, but, is Barry Hall the biggest hoax in the league? I mean, if Michael O’Loughlin gets that much praise in Sydney, and Ryan O’Keefe is All-Australian for Mike Willasee’s sake, perhaps it’s the forward set-up that makes these players look good. While we’re on the subject of looking good, would it be completely self-indulgent to mention I won money on the Eagles? Yep, a cool $26 to be exact. I know, I know, big time money, right? Although, the Beau Waters for Norm Smith experiment almost paid off at $101. I read in the paper today that Waters, in the midst of drunken celebrations, ate Adam Hunter’s goldfish, which in my mind should guarantee him some kind of medal.

Mrs. Watson: By ‘almost paid off’, do you mean, ‘not really close at all’? I swear to God, if I have to listen to your delusions of how Beau Waters was only an inch away from winning a Norm Smith any longer, I’m going to go berserk! Adam Hunter has a goldfish!? Geez, grow up Hunter! Does he have guinea pigs and a bunny rabbit as well?

Captain: Speaking of bad bets, Geelong is currently 6th favourite for the 2007 premiership at $12 behind West Coast, Adelaide, Sydney, St.Kilda and Fremantle. And did you know trade week begins next Monday? Any last words for James Kelly?

Mrs. Watson: Yep. How about, “It’s best not to handball directly to your opponents.” It’s too bad, really. I really liked the kid once upon a time. He played with poise, confidence, and skill; but there’s nothing like a broken leg to shatter all those things, is there? Perhaps someone should start a Dream Team next year of players who’ve suffered broken legs: Robert Murphy, James Kelly, Trent Henschel, Matt Maguire, and Nathan Brown. If you incorporated “off the bone” hamstrings as well, shit, you’d have a fuckin’ All-Australian team, less the Reiwoldt-mirage. Apart from Kelly, though Captain, who else from GFC is leaving our fair city come trade week, do you think?

Captain: Who will be leaving, or who should be? The Kent is a goner, that much is for sure, and I wouldn’t sign that long-term lease just yet if I was Kane Tenace. Really, they need a heap more pace, not to mention skill, in the midfield, so none of the on-ballers should be safe. Seeing as though Harley has now been made captain I guess that crosses him off the list. Hmm, I really don’t know, considering that to trade you need a willing participant to not only take Geelong’s reject players, but give something in return for them. At least we finished the year without any major injuries, I mean, is it too early to start calling Trent Henschel ‘House MD’?

Mrs. Watson: It is my wish that Ladykiller Ling be put forward as possible trade bait. It’s a big call, I know, but the poor guy has tapped all the resources in Geelong and has still come out single. Maybe he could pick up in the Big Smoke, or, go Neitz-style and just hook up with his mum. Seriously though, while he’s a huge possession getter the guy’s about as useful to our team as Mackie is in an arm wrestle. And perhaps if we take the ball out of Ling’s hands, it might end up with someone else who’s not just going to cough it up. Look for Bartel to be that person. I predict a better year for Tickets next year. Or, what if Lips puts forward a Ling/Kelly type package at trade week? Hell, throw in Playfair as well. Hatchet’ll have ‘em all covered next year.

Captain: Now, we’re not in the business of spreading rumours, but David Neitz is gay, right? Anyway, I think it’s about time Chapman and/or Ablett be given a serious chance in the midfield, and Rooke is emerging as our best tagger, so you’re right; unless Ling can find some use for himself at the pointy ends of the ground, he might become expendable. Plus, Prismall and Stokes will be pushing hard for full-time senior duties next season. Let’s see, a Kinglsey-free forward line featuring Ottens, Mooney, Steve Johnson and Nablett; a defence anchored by Scarlett, Milburn, Harley, Egan and Hunt; a midfield with Tickets, the 2 Coreys, Rooke, Gablett and Chappy; plus the up and comers, Hatchet and the other draft picks… Goddamn, I can’t wait for March! What would you like to see happen in ’07, Mrs. Watson?

Mrs. Watson: Number one: I’d like Harley to really make an impact as captain, and something tells me he will. Number two: I’d like to see Koschitzke continue to be on the wrong end of head clashes with players, coaches and other stationary objects. Sure, this sounds harsh, but it would put the poor guy out of his misery once and for all. I mean, did you see Koschitzke’s two finals games this year? He looked liked he’d just stepped off the Gravitron the whole time. I’m pretty sure he had no idea which way his team was kicking. Number three: it would bring me much pleasure if the Fremantle Dockers failed to make the finals next year. That way, 2006 could be written off as the mere fluke it was for that football club. Connelly did his best to look like he knew what he was doing in September, but everyone knows Chris’ game plans are about as tactical as girls’ pillow fight, and that he ultimately had about as much impact on this year’s finals series as say, Terry Wallace. Ouch!

Captain: Ah yes, there it is, our final shot at Richmond for 2006. I can’t wait for the Tiger insults to start flying next season. See ya then, Mrs. Watto.

Mrs. Watson: Out.