Catching up, or, the Last Photo of Kent

1. The big announcement everyone had been waiting for finally came down last week; Kent Kingsley – delisted. You know, I think Kent quickly became the scapegoat for Geelong’s ‘season gone bad’ this year. I mean, sure he missed crucial goal after crucial goal, and he refused to chase or tackle or even compete if the ball didn’t hit him lace out, but I for one will look back on the Kingsley years with a particular fondness, the same way Lance Armstrong might look back on his removed testicle; sure it was a big part of who you were but if its gonna kill you, get rid of it. Also officially delisted were Paul Koulouriotis and Matthew ‘Mitts’ McCarthy, while rookie listed players Will Slade, Nick Batchelor and Tim Sherringham will not have their contracts renewed. It’s a tough game, isn’t it? If you don’t grab every chance you get, or in the case of Andrew Mackie and Charlie Gardiner, if you don’t have compromising photos of the club president, you can find yourself gone pretty quickly. And thus the Matthew McCarthy Era is over seemingly before it ever began. If only he could play against Carlton every week. Slade and Batchelor had their fans too, but no-one really cares about Sherringham. Ouch.

2. Speaking of the Club President, ol’ Franky has revealed that he was once being forced into buying Mafia approved food & veg. Since when has the Mafia been involved in produce? What was wrong with gambling, prostitution and drugs? How are you supposed to scare a guy, he wakes up and finds a head of lettuce in his bed? Anyway, apparently Frank scared them off. The quote in the paper was, “You go back and tell him that if one hair of any of my family is touched at all, he will get double that back in return to his family... Now I wouldn't know where to start finding somebody to go and do that sort of thing..." Did I not tell you Frank was a Godfather? Can’t you just see him now, walking around the GFC boardroom with a baseball bat, tapping it on the desk right in front of Bomber Thompson “Five losses in a row? I wouldn't know where to start finding somebody to do that sort of thing, now would I Mark…” No wonder that extraordinary general meeting never took place; there won’t be any board spill while ‘Don’ Costa is in charge. Never go against the family.

3. Does anyone give a crap about the International Rules Series? I mean, when it first started it was a kind of interesting experiment, a nice side project, to the usual AFL matters, but after watching it on the weekend it quickly became apparent that it’s lost any meaning it may have had. Firstly, the selection of the Australian team has quickly gone from the best players in the game, to the best players suited to Gaelic football, to whoever is available: Selwood, Fisher, and Campbell Brown? What, they couldn’t get Mark Chaffey? Was Adrian Deluca busy? (My name’s Deluca… I’m Carlton’s 2nd tall…) And as far as I can see, there are no ‘international’ rules, it’s Gaelic football. And our guys can’t kick the round ball. It’s embarrassing. Our countries toughest, fittest athlete’s getting beaten by potato farmers. And Gaelic football is ridiculous. It’s like playing soccer, only everyone can use their hands and you don’t have to kick it into the soccer goal. Tell me, what is the point of the goalie in Gaelic football? Then there's the fans invading the field, the streakers, the lack of security... But still, what did you expect from the Irish; these are the same people who gave us the IRA and Shane McGowan’s teeth. The AFL needs to axe this and bring back state-of-origin immediately; if you want to play against the Irish, fine, but don’t parade it as ‘International Rules’ to us AFL fans. Play Gaelic football and select Gaelic football players, ok? Otherwise Chris Johnson must be selected every year so his insatiable blood lust against the Irish can continue. Either way.

4. Neil Balme has just been named the General Manager of Geelong’s football operations, after coming across from Collingwood where he served a similar role. Personally, I like the decision. Sure Collingwood seem to be struggling both on and off the field, and he was an average coach in his time at Melbourne, but I always trust a fat man, for a fat man is incapable of guile. Completely guileless.

5. The 2007 fixtures were also recently announced, with Geelong getting a reasonable draw. (I think from now on we should call this the schedule. Draw is confusing because that is also a potential result, and fixture sounds like you’re shopping for light fittings or something.) The Cats only travel interstate 4 times (from memory) and have 8 games down at the Cattery. My only problem with this is that 5 of the KP games are on Sunday; don’t they realise that Mrs. Watson and I are chronic alcoholics? How can we be expected to consume our usual game-day amounts of booze and still maintain the thin veneer of an everyday work-life? I might have to get Frank to send a few people that 'he doesn’t know' to get this fixed. I mean, sure, Frank Costa has never laid eyes on me, so getting him to send some heavies to the AFL office to change the schedule for more Saturday games so I can continue drinking may be a stretch, but what, you what me to NOT drink at the footy? Now who's being naive.