Round 2: Pumping shit, throwing shit.

Mrs. Watson: Nothing would please me more than to see the Saints lose tonight, but it ain't gonna happen. People laughed at my suggestion that Richmond would finish last, but where are those people now? Rowie even bet me they'd make the finals. Then again, he has Warren Tredrea in his Dream Team, so the man obviously has no class. Mo and I reckon Saints by 77 pts.

Captain: Did Warren Tredrea steal Matthew Primus' jumper, as well as the captaincy? Someone told me he's wearing no. 1 this year; what's next, an uncoordinated kicking style and a crippling knee injury? Oh... Tough to choose who I'd rather see lose between Port and Sydney, kinda like when Bruce Willis has to choose a weapon to kill Zed with in Pulp Fiction; either option will be effective, yet ultimately fail to make up for past affronts. Anyone else hoping for a draw?

Mrs. Watson: A nil all draw would be great; Sydney flood all day and forget to kick forward, and Port will again play too shite to score. Sydney will win this one unfortunately. I found the Hawks, Magpies game difficult to tip. Bird vs Bird. I went with the Hawks eventually, but I thought the Magpies did alright on Monday night against the Crows (until Adelaide started trying). In my opinion there are too many bird teams in the AFL: Eagles, Crows, Hawks, Magpies, Swans (if you can call that a bird. It's like calling a girl a boy, really). And what about Fremantle? If a Docker can get a football club named after him then surely other professions deserve a look-in. How about the Gold Coast Stock Brokers? Or the Hobart Guys Who Pump Toilets At Music Festivals? The Adelaide Priests? There's a menacing name! Keep the mascot away from the younger fans though. Speaking of Adelaide, they shouldn't have any problems with the Weagles on Sunday.

Captain: Yeah, what the hell is a Docker? Is it a wharfie? I guess that would be appropriate; you know, overpaid, under productive, generally an embarrassment to the country. And funny you should mention the Gold Coast; if the AFL relocate a team there, where are those guys gonna go on their end of season trip? I think we should also move a team to Bali, perhaps Essendon. The Bombers aren't going that far from Windy Hill this week, but they may as well be, 'cos they aint winning this one. Lethal will have the Lions pumped and ready to knock the fake-tan out of Essendon. Bulldogs v Melbourne is interesting, whaddya think, Watto?

Mrs. Watson: Baby Mooney thinks Bulldogs, but it'll be close. Baby Mooney got 8 right last week. Here's an interesting stat: ex-Cat Brent Maloney had the highest number of long kicks into the forward line last year, but also had the highest number of clearances immediately resulting in opposition goals. Glad we got Ottens for that costly midfielder. Anyone can kick long into the forward line really; it's just a matter of wanting to, or not wanting to. Was that a Bali Bomber joke, Captain?

Captain: Would it be wrong to suggest Jason McCartney as captain/coach?

Mrs.Watson: Yes it would, but it's not illegal, so fair call. I have zero faith in him in either position anyway. The guy's a dumbshit, and always was a very average player. But moving on...we haven't touched on the Cats game yet. I think this is very losable. The Kangaroos make me nervous.

Captain: Ah, saving the best til last we were, just keeping the readers hooked. Speaking of dumbshits, there's my segue to Dean Laidley. The Kangaroos are nothing to fear, my only worry is that without Leigh Colbert the 75 year old Geelong nannas won't know who to boo. Of course, we are talking about the Kangaroos, so it wouldn't surprise me if they've signed Mick Mansfield mid-week. Booo!

Mrs Watson: I say boo Cameron Thurley!

Captain: Ahh, that’s better.