Just a Tribute, or, A Just Tribute

In the glorious contentment of Geelong premiership afterglow, this off-season has seen the greatest loss of talent, character and “Geelong-ness” we’ve seen in one season since Beaumont’s Pies closed its doors in the same year as CC music. Just as in 2007 (Steven King) and 2009 (Tom Harley), Geelong will bid farewell to its premiership winning captain, Cameron Ling, as well as Cameron Mooney, Darren Milburn, Mark Blake and Brad Ottens. As tribute, here is Big League’s goodbye to five (four) of the best who will be missed on the field, in the stands and in these pages.

Cameron Mooney
Mooney gave the Geelong forward line, and team in general, a swagger that it desperately needed. He seemed like an excellent team-mate, like he had your back both on and off the field and like he’d secretly hook you up with some C-grade model at the Albert Park Hotel. He did work in the ruck, down back and eventually settled as the key-forward in two apparently key-forwardless premiership teams: It was unfortunate but understandable (and ultimately 100% vindicated) to see Moons miss this year’s premiership. Unwanted in the big smoke, Moons took on the often misunderstood, working class nature of his adopted hometown (while living in Port Melbourne), and ultimately he will go down as, if not one of Geelong’s most talented players, certainly one of its most loved.

Games: 221 games
Goals: 297
Fist-pump/fuck-off combos: 52 (approx.)
Nickname(s): Moons, Moondog
Signature move: Passing when in an obvious goal scoring position, followed by the overly emotional hug/top of the head rub.
Memorable moment: Stealing the Michael Jordan move and standing on the MCG fence, premiership cup in hand. Brilliant.
Big League Little League legacy: Mrs Watson spending an entire evening at the pub cradling a Cats beanie like a newborn and Christening it “Baby Mooney” after Mooney lead the Cats to the 2006 pre-season cup.

Darren Milburn
I love Dasher. He was a throwback in an era of pretty boys – a $12 bowl cut in a sea of blonde-tipped, gel-spiked, faux-hawks. He looks like that one dude who you went to school with who wore the same thing to every occasion, be it BBQ or wedding. He was a player’s player, the dependable, versatile cog that kept chugging along. I was always confident when he was playing, always sure that he would win his share of contests, uphold his end of the bargain. Tellingly, Matthew Scarlett has said Dash was his favourite teammate. Also, I once read something like Milburn could eat fish & chips for dinner every night and he’d still be in the same game shape, which struck me as particularly awesome.

Games: 292
Goals: 94 goals
Total distance given away in 50-metre penalties for umpire abuse: 1.25km
Nickname(s): Dasher, Stillborn, The Crafty Veteran, ODB (Ol’ Dirty Bastard)
Signature move: Third man up to a marking contest, simultaneously punching the ball and the back of the opposition’s head.
Memorable moment: Knocking out Steven Silvagni at Princes Park and then proceeding to get booed by Carlton fans for the next nine years.
Big League Little League legacy: Giving away those back-to-back goals just before halftime in the ’09 Grand Final which lead to Mrs Watson and I simultaneously exchanging a string of an unprintable, incomprehensible profanities despite being 3000 miles apart.
*Bonus BLLL legacy: My 6-monthly suggestions that he should be tried in the forward line.

Mark Blake
Blake was a father-son selection but was never embraced by the fans the way other limited, oft-maligned, but nevertheless Geelong lineage players have been. Except for Mrs Watson. For some unknown fucking reason Mrs Watson loved this clown. Still, he was better than Peter Street. I think.

Games: 99
Goals: 12
Number of times “He’s an excellent tap ruckman” was used to defend him: 546
Nickname(s): Silkworm
Signature move: Vaguely winning the opening centre bounce.
Memorable moment: Sulking behind sunglasses after the 2007 Grand Final win.
Big League Little League legacy: Mrs Watson buying and proudly displaying a Mark “Silkworm” Blake badge without a trace of irony (which is ironic).

Cameron Ling
What an unlikely footballer. He always looked slower, less co-ordinated and less skilled then his opponents because he was slower, less co-ordinated and less skilled than his opponents. But somehow he made it work. He was the draft horse next to the thoroughbreds, the goonbag next to the champagne, the Priceline cashier next to the supermodel. But once the coaches worked out how to use him, there were none better. Another of the Geelong big game specialists, his tagging jobs in Grand Finals have all been excellent, culminating in this year’s “Cloak of Invisibility” job he pulled on Dane Swan. Ling also carried himself well off the field, despite the constant needling about his looks he took from a media who for some reason decided it was fair game. He finally got to captain his hometown club and duly lifted the cup, completing the rare “school/footy team/pub owner” Geelong trifecta. Hats off, you truly are the Mayor of Geelong.

Games: 246
Goals: 139
Nickname(s): Linga, Lady-Killer
Signature move: The all-in-one-motion gathered and blindly delivered “panic kick”.
Memorable moment: Nathan Buckley getting so frustrated at Ling’s effective, close-checking tactics that he wiped his own blood all over Ling so he’d have to leave the field. You stay classy, Nathan.
Big League Little League legacy: The last in a long line of proud Geelong red-heads.

Brad Ottens
In 2005, when Geelong traded for Ottens, we finally thought we had our full-forward. A couple of good, but not great, seasons playing out of position and people were beginning to wonder if he was worth two first-round picks (one of which was gained by trading out Brent “Tinkles” Maloney) and if Jade Rawlings was the one that got away. It got so bad that Bomber felt compelled to defend the big man in the infamous “all of you... all of you” press conference which was so earnest and such a stand-up move that my man-crush on Lips was sealed forever. Eventually Ottens’ time in the forward line became less and his time in the middle, more. Mrs Watson had been telling anyone within earshot for 3 years that Ottens was not a full forward and that when he played in ruck, the Cats looked 10 times better. Thankfully someone at the club finally realised this too. And so after surviving Tigerland, after copping it from all angles in the media and living through the ill-advised Walnut Thomas “ruckmen don’t matter” era, Ottens was settled in the middle (and Mooney forward, I might add) and the renaissance was complete. The rest was not just history, but record-setting.

Games: 245 (116 with Geelong)
Goals: 261 (109 with Geelong)
Nickname(s): Otto, Otto-Man, Sex Fingers
Signature move: Competing in the ruck, following up with a tackle and eventually clearing the ball himself on hands and knees.
*Bonus signature move that always cracks me up: Clunking a big one-grab mark while resting forward as James Brayshaw and Garry Lyon lose their shit.
Memorable moment: Do I even need to say it? The 50m chase and tackle in the ’07 GF. He set the standard early that day with that huge effort. Fucking awesome.
Big League Little League legacy: Otto is probably the single, greatest, on-field reason the Cats are three time premiers (with Brain Cook being the single, greatest reason, full-stop). All of us love the big fella around here... All of us.