Beyond Good & Evil


Here we go again: Another Grand Final, another nervous wait and another weekend of rampant alcoholism. I don’t know how much more of this my body can take. I can barely make it out of the house in this state, let alone construct a cohesive and coherent sentence (well, except maybe for this one) let alone a full post. So here, in its place, are my rambling thoughts regarding the Grand Final and whatever else...

The Cats looked almost robotic in their Preliminary final dispatching of West Coast; a well-oiled machine just doing what it does. The defence especially looked organized and unflappable. Muscles Mackie played about as well as I’ve seen him play and Scarlett and Enright are, at this point, mistake free footballers. But is it better to have a brutal, testing finals series prior to a Grand Final, or the relatively “bruise-free” path that the Cats have had? Hopefully the Cats will be able to step up to the required intensity.

My gut feeling is that Steve Johnson will play, albeit at about 80% capacity, a gamble that, without Daniel Menzel, Geelong may feel they need to take. (By the way, when he returned in the red vest to walk the boundary during the Prelim it was the biggest cheer all day. Sent a shiver down my spine. It also reminded me of when a wrestler enters the stadium and they play his intro music: “Good Lord, is that Steve Johnson’s music?!”)

Darren Jolly on the other hand, won’t be risked. I think the Pies will reason correctly that a fully fit Cameron Wood is equal to Jolly in his current state, who seems to be moving about as well as Verbal Kint.

That razor ad where That Guy Who Used To Host Gladiators Tom Williams starts screaming at people about using a new shaver is my new most hated ad, displacing the Just For Men ad where Luis Figo appears to be getting hit on by the Portuguese Mark Nicoski, then has a shower and kicks a soccer ball through a TV in some sort of “Electric Dreams” video clip fantasy world. As Bill Hicks once said, “If you’re in marketing or advertising, just do me favour and kill yourself.”

How good has it been having James Podsiadly appear out of nowhere two years ago? Contested marking, especially in the forward line, is often what separates very good teams from premiership teams and it is a huge plus for Geelong that a) Pods escaped any suspension and b) Ben Reid may not be fully fit. The real bonus, however, would be if Hawkins can continue crashing packs and catching a few like he has been.

Likewise, Travis Cloke is Collingwood’s most important player and it will be a big job for Lonergan, who I think will get first crack, and/or Harry Taylor. If they can compete and bring the ball to ground more often than not, it will slow down Collingwood’s avenues to goal and psychologically keep the Pies pegged down.

I am completely uninterested in the Brownlow, either as an award or an event. Having said that, Dane Swan winning seems fair enough, and by fair enough, I mean, “at least it wasn’t Nick Dal Santo”. (Although, I did once float the idea of Tickets playing with the Chas around his neck, so that when he didn’t get a line-ball decision he could point to the medal and go “Hey, ump... Brownlow.” At which point he would immediately be awarded a free kick.)

Speaking of Swan, I’d prefer Ling did a job on Pendlebury, as he’s their best clearance/stoppage player. How the mid-field matches up will be interesting as we’ve seen Bartel and Kelly play tagging roles in big games previously when required. The Pies typically use Wellingham as their assigned run-with player and I’d expect him to go to Selwood.

Back to Steve Johnson for a minute, whether or not he kicks 3 or 4, Geelong really does need him out there. The Cats forward line needs some swag, some self-belief, some big game bravado. Pods, Hawkins and Varcoe can sometimes appear a little, how shall I put this, precariously confident? Now that Mooney’s gone, they need Stevie J to give them that presence, to help them all walk a bit taller. As attila reminded us a couple weeks back in the comments, in 2007 when asked how he was feeling before the big game, Stevie J replied with, “This is why they put in air in my lungs.”

Speaking of which, was it just me, or did Paul Chapman look a little bit frisky last week?

So... How we feeling Big Leaguers?!? As I said in ’07, I’m drained, I’m nervous, I’m confident, I’m terrified and I’ve got nothing else to say but, Go Cats!