Selwood, Headland and the Death of Tim Watson
Mrs. Watson: Hello Captain. What’s that shit on your arm?
Captain: What can we really say about the Headland-Selwood incident? Selwood reckons he didn’t say it, Des reckons he did, and the tribunal washed their hands of it. You’re a known sledger, Mrs. W, any thoughts?
Mrs. Watson: If you ask me, there are only two questions left to ponder. One, did Selwood say those things? Maybe, I don't really care. Two (and more importantly), is Headland still a dickhead? You bet. Let's face it, whether or not Selwood suggested that he spent the night under the covers with Des' daughter, Headland should have let it go. Besides, I think Selwood would make a very considerate lover, and a terrific potential son-in-law.
Captain: And really, this has all distracted us from the fact that Freo, everyone’s hot tip for premiership glory, are 0-3 and looking ragged. Speaking of ragged, lucky for the Dockers they play Melbourne this week, they might actually chalk up a victory.
Mrs. Watson: Yeah, Freo should win. And, since Josh Hunt won't be minding Brad Green this weekend, expect him to look a little more uncomfortable in the forward line. Sheesh! Smelly is a great kick, no disputing that, but quite frankly, I'm pretty certain he couldn't put pressure on Bruce McAvaney's nimble, girly frame. Which reminds me, who do I have to kill to get a live game of football on free to air television on Sunday? Tim Watson? Cause I'll fucking do it!
Captain: If I say yes, does that make me an accessory? And could you start with David Schwarz? While we’re on the subject of death, are Richmond a possibility of going winless this season, and if so, would that be enough to get Terry Wallace fired? I saw a recent listing of odds for coaches to be fired, headed by Dean Laidley, and Lips Thompson was in 2nd place, ahead of Connolly, Clarkson and Terry the Great. Unbelieveable. I’d take the odds on Neale Daniher personally.
Mrs. Watson: Nope, they’ll win a few. After all, Terry “Nostradamus” Wallace has a magic spreadsheet which has them finishing 9th this season, and a “window of opportunity” opening in 2011. That must be reassuring for fans. Way to go Terry! But hey, while you’re predicting the future there, coach, perhaps you tell us all when the Gulf War will end. Or, who will sell the most candy on the field this year, O Great One? My money is on Mark Blake. He was awesome (or, at the very least, entertaining) last weekend.
Captain: I think entertaining would be about right. And with King coming back, there was talk of all three ruckman playing, although Ottens is listed to miss through injury. The thought of Mark Blake in the goal square is sending shudders up my spine as we speak. (And I did see the opportunity for a candy/cocaine joke there, I just passed, ok?) Nablett has also been named, however, so we may not have to endure “Blake as key-forward”, although expect King to get an ugly, brief run down there. If the Cats are any good, and I said this last week Mrs. W, they won’t lose to Hawthorn; thoughts?
Mrs. Watson: Well, this game makes me nervous. The Hawks towelled us twice last year, and for some reason, I think they have our number. Perhaps they match up well against us (whatever that means). Perhaps we’re constantly underestimating them. Or, perhaps it was just the way things were going last year. Looking at the teams though, I really don’t think Hawthorn have the backline to cover our forwards, so I’d say this thing’ll be won or lost in the midfield. As per usual.
Captain: I reckon that whole “match up well” thing comes down to coaches not adjusting their game-plan for specific opponents. But I'll save my thoughts about that for one my patented, long-winded, high-concept blogs. And besides, Lips reckons he knows what he's doing. No chance the Cats lose this one, and they’ll be selling “Tomahawk” t-shirts at KP within 3 weeks. Say, do you think Headland at least has a sister for Selwood?
Mrs. Watson: Yeah, but the tattoo of her lies below Des’ waist. Slap!
Out.
Mrs. Watson: Hello Captain. What’s that shit on your arm?
Captain: What can we really say about the Headland-Selwood incident? Selwood reckons he didn’t say it, Des reckons he did, and the tribunal washed their hands of it. You’re a known sledger, Mrs. W, any thoughts?
Mrs. Watson: If you ask me, there are only two questions left to ponder. One, did Selwood say those things? Maybe, I don't really care. Two (and more importantly), is Headland still a dickhead? You bet. Let's face it, whether or not Selwood suggested that he spent the night under the covers with Des' daughter, Headland should have let it go. Besides, I think Selwood would make a very considerate lover, and a terrific potential son-in-law.
Captain: And really, this has all distracted us from the fact that Freo, everyone’s hot tip for premiership glory, are 0-3 and looking ragged. Speaking of ragged, lucky for the Dockers they play Melbourne this week, they might actually chalk up a victory.
Mrs. Watson: Yeah, Freo should win. And, since Josh Hunt won't be minding Brad Green this weekend, expect him to look a little more uncomfortable in the forward line. Sheesh! Smelly is a great kick, no disputing that, but quite frankly, I'm pretty certain he couldn't put pressure on Bruce McAvaney's nimble, girly frame. Which reminds me, who do I have to kill to get a live game of football on free to air television on Sunday? Tim Watson? Cause I'll fucking do it!
Captain: If I say yes, does that make me an accessory? And could you start with David Schwarz? While we’re on the subject of death, are Richmond a possibility of going winless this season, and if so, would that be enough to get Terry Wallace fired? I saw a recent listing of odds for coaches to be fired, headed by Dean Laidley, and Lips Thompson was in 2nd place, ahead of Connolly, Clarkson and Terry the Great. Unbelieveable. I’d take the odds on Neale Daniher personally.
Mrs. Watson: Nope, they’ll win a few. After all, Terry “Nostradamus” Wallace has a magic spreadsheet which has them finishing 9th this season, and a “window of opportunity” opening in 2011. That must be reassuring for fans. Way to go Terry! But hey, while you’re predicting the future there, coach, perhaps you tell us all when the Gulf War will end. Or, who will sell the most candy on the field this year, O Great One? My money is on Mark Blake. He was awesome (or, at the very least, entertaining) last weekend.
Captain: I think entertaining would be about right. And with King coming back, there was talk of all three ruckman playing, although Ottens is listed to miss through injury. The thought of Mark Blake in the goal square is sending shudders up my spine as we speak. (And I did see the opportunity for a candy/cocaine joke there, I just passed, ok?) Nablett has also been named, however, so we may not have to endure “Blake as key-forward”, although expect King to get an ugly, brief run down there. If the Cats are any good, and I said this last week Mrs. W, they won’t lose to Hawthorn; thoughts?
Mrs. Watson: Well, this game makes me nervous. The Hawks towelled us twice last year, and for some reason, I think they have our number. Perhaps they match up well against us (whatever that means). Perhaps we’re constantly underestimating them. Or, perhaps it was just the way things were going last year. Looking at the teams though, I really don’t think Hawthorn have the backline to cover our forwards, so I’d say this thing’ll be won or lost in the midfield. As per usual.
Captain: I reckon that whole “match up well” thing comes down to coaches not adjusting their game-plan for specific opponents. But I'll save my thoughts about that for one my patented, long-winded, high-concept blogs. And besides, Lips reckons he knows what he's doing. No chance the Cats lose this one, and they’ll be selling “Tomahawk” t-shirts at KP within 3 weeks. Say, do you think Headland at least has a sister for Selwood?
Mrs. Watson: Yeah, but the tattoo of her lies below Des’ waist. Slap!
Out.
posted by the captain at 12:22 pm
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