Stay Positive, or, The Kings of Leon, Jarad and Max

Wow. I had kind of forgotten what this feels like. I had forgotten how much it stings, how much it riles me up against my better judgement and makes me say, think and do ridiculous things. I had convinced myself that I would be more objective, more detached and better equipped to handle any on-field disappointment this year. I thought that perhaps I may have lost some of the passion and fire that seemed to consume me last season. I also thought that Geelong would win. But all of that changed pretty quickly.

After the first quarter I found myself scolding the players for simple skill errors, yelling at the TV due to some genuinely baffling umpiring decisions and quietly hoping for more and more crippling Bulldogs knee injuries. No wonder we drink so much at games.

It all came back alright, not just being reminded what its like to watch your team lose, but being reminded that they lose because they continue to shoot themselves in the foot. I was simultaneously watching and brewing a scathing blog in my head.

During the game, however, it is impossible to think clearly. You must learn to recognize such clouded judgement and let cooler heads prevail – leave the knee-jerk reaction stuff to the professionals.

I have since reminded myself that it is only Round One and often teams struggle with the finesse and skill side of the game this early in the season. I also told myself that the Bulldogs are possibly one of the best 3 or 4 teams we will play this year, and that they are unnaturally skilled with their disposal. I have also chastised myself for wishing heavy and blunt objects to crash with sudden frequency into Brad Johnson’s skull.

I also think the media have talked up the Bulldogs as a way supporting their own hype for them and therefore proving themselves right: No-one is saying that Essendon, after an equally emphatic victory, are ‘built for September’, whatever that means, on the first day of April. But we should probably expect such knobbery from Denis Commetti by now, who I’m sure does not so much see the game but his own reflection in the commentary box window. (And while I’m at it, how David Schwarz continues to work in roles that require him to speak are beyond me; is it too late to get Steven Silvagni back?)

So let’s remain positive and be thankful for Corey Enright, Paul Chapman, the Ablett brothers, David Wojcinski and the fact that Max Rooke not only changed his name but now looks like a member of The Kings of Leon. And let’s look forward to Nathan Djerrkura, Joel Selwood, Tom Hawkins and Mrs. Watson screaming at people in the outer who continue to call him ‘Tomahawk’ (which he started, by the way) whilst ignoring his preferred option, ‘Hatchet’. Let’s look forward to playing Carlton next week and making constant jokes about Lance Whitnall’s brother, Brendan Fevola’s wife and Ryan Houlihan’s hair-cut. Let’s look forward to our first home game at Kardinia Park and the upcoming Mrs. Watson sponsored Easter Bender. But mostly, let’s look forward to winning a couple of games cos if this shit keeps up this forced positivity will be the end of me.