The Fluffy Tiger, or, Final Destination

We all knew it was going to happen, hell, some of us (Mrs. Watson) have wished for it to happen for some time now. But still, seeing the Kent of Kingsley wearing Richmond Football Club paraphernalia and sitting alongside that smug prick Terry Wallace had a slightly surreal feel to it. It seemed more likely that they were both out of a football job and were announcing a charity fun run as part of their new role as spokespersons for Pura Milk; a very specific surreal feel to it, yes, but still surreal.

Still, it seems the Richmond faithful are not as stupid as they smell, as they allegedly bombarded talkback radio and internet chat rooms (although no word here, Ray) voicing their disgust with the Kingsley signing. All I can say is, it’s early days yet, and once we get a bit closer to the winter, and they see Kent prancing around the forward pocket, chest puffed out, casually missing goals and then refusing to chase, well, its gonna be hard for them to tell him and Richo apart. Richmond fans, enjoy the latest Fluffy Tiger.

Richmond fans aren’t the only ones going public with their disgust, however. Brendan Fevola’s in-laws have apparently released a copy of a voicemail message left for him by teenage swimsuit model Lara Bingle, which they claim confirms the two had an affair. (It’s alright, I’ll wait while you Google her. Go on, I don’t mind.) It hasn’t been the best of summers for Fev, what, with the Chris Johnson impression he pulled on that Irish Bartender, and now his marriage is breaking up. Good call by the Carlton board not to take a chance on Ty Zantuck; with the form Fevola’s in those two would have been fighting, fucking or pissing on someone in no time. In Hindsight, probably a good call by the Blues not to give Fev the captaincy.

News out of Geelong is that shortly after being re-drafted by the Cats, Tom “Final Destination” Lonergan was involved in a nasty car accident in which he was shunted into on-coming traffic and was lucky to live. Maybe you should take it easy for a while there, Champ, have a good lie down.

Also drafted by the Cats was 22 year old ex-Essendon tease Joel Reynolds. The story we’re being spun is that he’s had injury after injury and never had a chance to find his feet. We’ll see, but worth a punt, I’d reckon. By the way, Mrs. Watson has promised he’ll be back better and bitterer than ever once the season starts. That's all for now folks.