Never been better, or, I wish I knew then what I know now

Where do I start? The last time I posted Geelong was sitting 3rd with 2 wins and 1 loss, I was looking forward to Hird vs. Buckley on ANZAC day and Beaconsfield was just another Tasmanian shithole that no-one had heard of. Well, they say a week is a long time in football, but 2 weeks is fucking eternity, especially in Beaconsfield. Two miners survive, one doesn’t and Richard Carlton drops dead, presumably whilst scrambling with every other media rodent, attempting to give us his latest update, since the last one 11 minutes ago, about what the miners-wife’s-aunties-grandmother had for breakfast the morning she realised someone she hasn’t seen for 6 years was stuck somewhere she didn’t really know anything about, and thinking about how he was going to end his 60 minutes report with a wide-lens, tracking shot of the rugged Tasmanian wilderness, a gentle ballad, a generic sentiment about giving a small town hope and thinking ‘They’re gonna give me a fucking logie for this’. Do I sound cynical? A little jaded? Like I’ve lost all hope in humanity, truth, sincerity and any order to the world in general? Well, I’m a Geelong supporter, and like I said, where do I start?

Let’s start with what we know:

Geelong’s midfield is seriously underperforming
The Geelong midfield, Joel Corey, Jimmy Bartel, Cameron Ling and James Kelly, with the rest of the rotation, Jarad Rooke, Kane Tenace, Peter Riccardi, Corey Enright, Shannon Byrnes, David Johnson and Paul Chapman, have been massively outplayed. The depth and versatility is there, it’s just they don’t seem to be doing much, something never more evident than in the Sydney game. It’s almost as though they are so wrapped up in the ‘one-on-one’ footy mindset they get caught watching their opponent, rather than taking a chance to run and win the ball themselves. This may be over simplifying the problem, or even over complicating it; as Mrs. Watson put it, we might just be shit.

Garry Ablett Jnr. is a very, very good player (and just might be the solution for the midfield)
His ability to win the ball and then take on defenders is something all too rare in the current Geelong team. He hits most targets by foot and makes excellent decisions by hand. He keeps his feet in almost every contest and applies enormous pressure to opponents when he doesn’t have the ball. More than that, however, he has poise. While other, unnamed redheaded team-mates are throwing blind, ‘panic’ handballs, Garry knows where opponents and team-mates are and, importantly, where they will be. If tackled, he gets his arms free and ensures Geelong maintains possession, or at least has a chance of retaining possession. In the Western Bulldogs game we saw another string to Junior’s bow, something perhaps owing to the legacy of the Old Man, Garry Jnr. at full-forward. When playing there he knows when to lead at the right time, how to out manoeuvre a defender one-on-one and has excellent hands in the marking contest. He is excellent value in the forward half, but it’s time to play him in the midfield, Lips.

Josh Hunt is a liability
With the new kick out rules, it isn’t as important to have a designated kicker anymore; it’s just whoever’s closest. I don’t think he could stop me from kicking 4 at this point.

The delivery to the forwards has been piss poor
Maybe they don’t kick enough balls at training, maybe they grew up with poor techniques, maybe it’s more a confidence issue than technique; whatever the case, all I know is that way too many passes are landing at the leading players’ feet, or being kicked well over their heads. This one, simple facet of the game would probably make the biggest difference. You’re professionals, figure it out.

Now, I hear you ask, what is we don’t know?

Cameron Mooney’s best position
Through the first 6 rounds this year, Mooney has probably been Geelong’s second best player and is so important because of the variety of roles he can fill. However, he has been playing where he is most needed, not necessarily where he is best suited. So where should he play? Ottens has been doing well in the ruck recently, so if King can tape himself back together he may not be needed there. With Scarlett back, Matthew Egan developing and reports surfacing that Tom Harley can actually walk again, he may not be needed in defence. The forward line is probably the most obvious and pressing need, but if someone like Hank Playfair or Nathan Ablett can prove to be a consistent performer along half-forward, it might be a bit crowded, especially with a resting ruckman and Lips Thompson seemingly having a hard-on for Kent Kingsley, Charlie Gardiner, Andrew Mackie and Steve Johnson. Perhaps he is best left to roam free; name him on a wing but leave him free to wander forward or back, or into the midfield as need be. If has the fitness to do fill this role it would certainly cause some match up problems, and hey, he could still fill in whenever Scarlett wants to belt someone, or when Brad Ottens starts losing body parts.

What happened to Cameron Ling
Was Cameron Ling just horribly over-rated, or has he fallen further than a refinery workers’ sperm count? Seriously, he is a turn-over waiting to happen these days. And it looks like he’s lost half a step, which is saying something.

Where James Kelly is
Has he been playing? He was thought of as the next player to make the leap, someone capable of reaching a similar level to that of say Cameron Bruce. He looked like a true utility, one who could play rover, centre, wing, forward or back flank, even line up at full-forward. And he seemed to have that polish and poise that Cameron Ling, who is as graceful as a 3-legged dog, so desperately lacks. Yet for all that he looks about as interested as Vince Vaughn did in ‘Dodgeball’.

Who, in the reserves, is ready to step up
Steve Johnson and Shannon Byrnes were dropped; Tim Callan, Tom Lonergan and Nathan Ablett have had their chances, so who is left? Paul Koulouriotis has not been sighted this season, Tom Harley has made his return, Geelong’s no. 1 draft pick, Travis Varcoe, is playing and apparently the Matthew McCarthy era is not quite over just yet (a quick check of GFC.com revealed he kicked a couple on the weekend). [Don’t forget Stokes, Captain, BOG last coupla weeks – Mrs. Watson.]

And finally
Why can’t Shannon Byrnes kick a goal? What is actually wrong with Tom Harley? How is Will Slade continually being selected for the seniors? Will Steven King ever play in consecutive games again? Can someone please get Leigh Tudor a haircut? And can someone get this memo to Charlie Gardiner: move the ball quickly into the forward line, Chuck, QUICKLY… Travis Varcoe… Travis Varcoe… Travis Varcoe… Travis Varcoe… Travis Varcoe… Travis Varcoe… Travis Varcoe… Travis Varcoe… Travis Varcoe… Travis Varcoe… Travis Varcoe…