Fear and Loathing in Geelong: The case for Steve Johnson

As previously mentioned here at Big League, Little League, I’m a bit gun-shy about attending games, thinking that somehow my mere presence, or non-presence, will upset the universe’s cosmic balance and lead to an unfavourable result. Well, I now find myself unable, or unwilling, to watch games ‘live’ on television. Mrs. Watson asked if we would be watching this week’s game at my gaff or his, and I answered, I don’t think I want to watch.

When I was younger, and Geelong was playing on a Saturday afternoon, I’d cut myself off from any live scores and instead watch the first half “live” on the delayed telecast. Then, depending on how that first half went I’d switch on the radio to get a final score. I could then either comfortably watch the second half, safe in the knowledge of a Geelong victory, or, having discovered Geelong lost, switch it off and go build cubby houses or throw rocks at the girls down the street or whatever the hell it was that I did. And, in answering Mrs. Watson the way I did, I think I may need to go back to this ‘pain-limiting’ technique.

Now, a lot of you may argue that this is cheating, that it takes the very sport out of the sport itself, but I say, well, yeah, you’re probably right, but goddamn it this Geelong team will do that to ya. The only way I can sit down and watch Will Slade continually give away free kicks, or Cameron Ling continually give the other team the ball, is armed with the knowledge that Geelong will end up winning. I mean, in the middle of a 2 point game, in the 4th quarter, there’s only so many times I can be expected to watch Charlie Gardiner take a mark, look bewildered, hold up play allowing defenders to flood back and then bomb the ball into the now crowded forward line without wanting to stab myself in the neck with my GFC biro. Jesus Charles, at least Scott Lucas has the decency to fire at goal immediately. And that’s the problem; it’s the same players making the same mistakes, and after a while, that gets frustrating.

So how about changing it up a bit and taking a risk? Run past your man and kick long and quickly, deep into the forward line, who knows, Kent might even take a mark, or more likely, receive a dubious free kick, but the point remains; as Mike Whitney used to say, who dares, wins. And this is why Steve Johnson (due to make his return tonight after consecutive 5 goal games in the reserves) is needed in the current Geelong line-up.

The evenness of the Geelong team has been well documented, and while this can be perceived as a strength, with the exception of Garry Jnr., no player possesses the creative flair necessary to provide that spark, to manufacture something out of nothing the way Chris Judd or James Hird can. Now look, I’m not saying Steve Johnson has all the answers, and those who have been to games with me know I’ve been on his case all year, but perhaps the team could use a bit of his élan at the moment. And at least he finds new and exciting ways to fuck up; short of Keith Richards getting brain damage from falling out of a palm tree, breaking your ankle and potentially ruining your career by jumping the fence at the Torquay Hotel is a fairly spectacular disaster. Shannon Byrnes running into open goals and continually missing from 25m out however, is just plain painful. Welcome back, Johnno.