Draft Daze, or, Mrs. Watson will hate this title.

Apart from Kent Kinglsey not being picked up by the Tiges, draft day was, from all accounts, nuthin’ but good times for Cats fans.

Geelong’s first selection, Joel Selwood, is a strong, skilful and hard at it on-baller, apparently in the Luke Ball mode. He is rated as more talented than his two AFL playing older brothers, by both general consensus and his brothers themselves, and is viewed as a potential captain of the club after holding various leadership roles throughout his junior career, most notably on an U/18 tour of Ireland. Selwood was seen as a potential no. 1 pick and the Cats were apparently ecstatic about him slipping to no. 8. Of course, he probably slipped because of the ACL injury he suffered last season, which makes two no. 1 picks in a row that Geelong has used on guys with a limp. No reports yet that Verbal Kint has made the rookie list.

The Cats second round selection was indigenous small forward Nathan Djerrkura, who runs an 11 second 100m and immediately needs a nick name (I’ve already spelt his last name 5 different ways, so please, suggest a nick name). He is apparently built to play seniors straight away and famously once ran the length of the ground playing for Scotch College, taking several bounces and baulking or just plain out-running various opponents before kicking the goal. Outstanding. Apparently he also appreciates the physical side of the game and likes to tackle and pressure, modelling himself on Byron Pickett. Did I already say ‘outstanding’? Looks like it could be a small forward role for him.

Geelong’s third round selection had long been nominated for The Tomahawk, Hatchet Hawkins, who, thanks to our and the general medias constant spruiking, you should all know plenty about. But for those who don’t, he is an 18 year old full-forward, considered by all a lock for the top 10, who stands 197cm tall and weighs 95kgs. To put that in context, he is taller than Nablett, but not as tall as Otto; heavier than Matthew Lloyd, but not as heavy as Richo. Let’s see, Tony locket played at 191cm and 108kgs; Hatchet is 197 and 95 and 18 years old. Cross ‘full-forward’ off our recruiting list for the next 10 years. Now say it with me folks – outstanding.



The final selection was used on the Hogan kid, who was pretty much the best athlete in the draft; even though he has said that he’s never trained in athletics, only football. Apparently the Bulldogs rated him quite highly, so based on that he’ll be skinny, lightning quick, skilled on both sides and impossible to distinguish from his team-mates.

Also worth noting, David Rodan was picked up by Port Adelaide to play the role of over-weight, over-rated, one-trick pony now that Stuart Dew has retired. Apparently Rodan was informed of the good news the night before, by a drunken Kane Johnson.

So, what else has been happening down in Catland? Well, Nablett has a new contract, no doubt massively over-paying him, and Tom Lonergan has a new kidney, as he begins to regain some of the 20kgs he lost. Speaking of Lonergan, did you know that during the game in which he lost the kidney, the players of both teams were wearing multi-coloured boot laces to help promote organ donation? I guess you can’t get better publicity than that.

The Ashes: Day One, or, Michael Slater: Backseat Driver

There’s nothing quite like that first morning of an Ashes series. And as Hayden and Langer entered the arena, it struck me that opening batsmen are the modern day gladiators, heading out to do battle with helmets, armour and swords of willow. And as the crowd roared to a fervour pitch, Harmison delivered the first ball of the series, passing the batsmen and smacking it nicely into the hands… of 2nd slip. Yep, an absolutely wild delivery that Langer would have been lucky to reach with a barge pole. So much for a competitive series, I mused. And as Australia eased their way to 1/140 after the first session, I feared I may have been right. Some other thoughts:

Channel 9 has abandoned the tried and tested method used for cricket commentary everywhere else in the world, and has inexplicably included a third man in the booth. It’s almost like they’re so hyped about the series themselves that they decided to put an extra man in, looking to squeeze every possible angle out of every ball. The only thing is I’m so used to the 2 man commentary team, that when the 3rd voice pops up, it’s completely confusing. Two commentators will be in the middle of a civilised conversation and then Michael Slater chimes in, completely off-topic, with his 2 cents worth. I keep thinking that Slats must have over-powered Richie Benaud and forced his way in. It’s like talking to someone in the front seat of a car and having a guy in the back poke his head through the gap in seats, eager to join in. It’s off putting and I wonder whether Channel 9 will persevere with it throughout the series. I mean, if they cancel it now they can write it off as a first day once-off, but if they cut it halfway through the next test it’s gonna be uncomfortable. Especially for Slater, the ‘backseat specialist’.

Dick Ponting looks in good nick, and I can not understand why fast bowlers continue to give him anything short. At the time of writing, tea on Day 1, he has reached the 60’s and is starting to look more and more comfortable and confident. And most of those runs have come from pull shots. Ponting has a habit of looking very scratchy at the start of his innings, walking across his stumps, and getting stuck planting his front foot, but you can always tell when he’s up and going ‘cos his feet start to move. And watching him wander down the wicket to James Anderson, on a pretty flaccid GABBA wicket, means he could be in for big one.

It might be the nerves of the first test, the travel, or the batting friendly GABBA pitch, but England’s bowling line-up looks like it’s lacking a fair bit of penetration. They do miss Simon Jones, who is whippy and swings it both ways, and Flintoff is just back from injury where he didn’t bowl at all for months on end, but the others haven’t stepped it up. ‘Ugly’ Hoggard looks useless without England’s permanent overcast conditions and ball affecting throat lozenges; Harmison looks like he could barely tie his shoelaces and is all over the shop; and James Anderson hasn’t exactly looked dangerous either. Personally I would have gone with Mahmoud instead, something the English selectors might do sooner rather than later. And as for Ashley Giles, talk about lacking penetration, the guys spins it less the Darren Lehman, and when he bowled the on-screen graphic actually read, ‘left-arm darts’.

And finally, it’s good to see that Richie Benaud is still as dry as ever. After Kevin Peterson injured his knee while sliding awkwardly to field a ball, Richie chimed in with, “Shades of Simon Jones…” referring to the English paceman who famously wrecked his knee sliding into a fence on the very same ground during the last Ashes tour. I reckon the whole Northern stand could collapse, crushing thousands, and Richie would pause, letting the viewers take in the horrifying scenes for just long enough, then, ‘I’d say they’d be in a bit of trouble there…’ Hats off, Richie.

Opening With the Openers, or, Dancing With Your Cousin

With the summer almost upon us, and each football blog gathering more cobwebs than Richo’s exercise bike, I feel that it’s time to introduce the first ever cricket blog to Big League Little League! Being November, the highly anticipated Ashes campaign is about to begin, and we are surely only days away from a leaked video of Shane Warne sleeping with someone, attempting to sleep with someone, or SMSing someone about sleeping with them. There is much to discuss.

I considered writing this blog a number of ways. I thought about doing the standard series preview; about how I would pick the respective teams; about Marcus Trescothick’s mystery stress related illness (that sounds like a Beatles song, doesn’t it? The mystery stress-related illness, is ready to take Trescothick away); and whether or not England has actually heard of dentistry. And I’ll probably get to these eventually, so for now I’ll just start where I start and we’ll go from there…

During the last Ashes series, Australia was working with a fast bowling attack of Brett Lee, a one-legged Glenn McGrath, untried slinger Shaun Tait and Jason Gillespie and Michael Kasprowicz, both of whom played with massive forks sticking out of them. Meanwhile, England opened with swing extraordinaire Simon Jones, Matthew ‘Ugly’ Hoggard and then brought in Harmison and Flintoff as 1st and 2nd change, which is kinda like taking two hot sisters to the dance, then going home with two hotter sisters.

So while last time Australia was left dancing with its cousin, this time things seem a little different. McGrath is back, he’s fit, healthy and has something to prove (the proverbial recipe for success with ‘Pigeon’); Brett Lee is as good as ever and won’t be asked to bowl long spells; and Shane Watson will bat at no.6 and provide good pace and bounce in support. The interesting part will be who they pick as the third specialist fast bowler.

I must say, despite some selections that have initially had me scratching my head, for the most part the Australian selectors have an excellent track record in promoting players to the test team (and, for that matter, dropping them from the team). And they have included 3 players in the squad who will vie for that last place; Mitchell Johnson, Stuart Clark and Shaun Tait.

Personally I think they’ll go with Johnson (Note: Unless Shaun Tait has taken 4/10, or something equally ridiculous, since I’ve written this). The attack could use a bit of variation, and the English haven’t seen too much of the Queensland left arm quickie. I was surprised that Nathan Bracken wasn’t looked at more closely, I mean, sure he looks like Andrew G, but he bowled superbly in the ICC champion’s trophy and in tough spots too. The ball he bowled Chris Gayle with in the final, after Gayle was smashing anything and everything, was one of the best balls I’ve ever seen. Gayle didn’t have a chance.

The one thing Australian selectors have done, and done correctly, is to be patient with change, ensuring the disruption is minimal and that the in-coming player is going to last. So whoever comes into the team will be in there for the long haul. Well, unless of course you’re Brad Hodge, in which case you go back to eating Play-Doh or whatever the hell he does during the week. So looking ahead, Stuart Clark will find his place once McGrath leaves, and if Watson works out at 6, the Aussies will be able to afford to have a couple of slightly more erratic, if not more dangerous, bowlers to work alongside Brett Lee. In the meantime, an attack of McGrath, Lee, Watson and either Johnson or Tait looks pretty dangerous. Then, of course, there are the spinners.


England have a pretty obvious weakness against leg spin so expect plenty of fielders around the bat, plenty of trash talk and plenty of appealing to keep the pressure on. (You gotta love the appeal in cricket; no other sport requires you to actually ask the umpire to make a decision.) There’s not much more to be said about Shane Warne, I mean, sure, the guy seems like a complete asshole off the field, but hey, he’s the best bowler in the world, what are they gonna do, drop him? And I’m pretty sure he would have said as much to the selectors. As for Stuart MacGill, with Watson in the side, he’s guaranteed of getting a game, and I’m all for it. There’s something fun about watching a guy who’s not happy about getting a wicket, but more so pissed off that it took him that long to get it. England, prepare to meet your new dance partner.