The Draft: The Great Gatsby & Friends


As AFL players returned to the training track this past week, I got my first chilling look at Gary Ablett’s new life; as he sat courtside for a Gold Coast Blaze NBL game. (Yes, I’m actually trying to talk myself into the NBL. Although, having watched a few games, I can’t shake the feeling that the ’92 Supercats would have run through this league like Vincent Chase through the Playboy mansion.) And as Mrs Watson wondered out loud about Gold Coast Gary’s favourite theme park (we settled on Wet ‘n Wild, because Nath loves the waterslides) I realized I had yet to do my ‘half-assed, uniformed AFL draft review’! So without further ado…

Pick 15: Billie Smedts, 190cm, 79kg
What they say: 190cm utility who spent most of his time at halfback but capable of forward and midfield roles. Tested well in the sprint, agility and skills section of the draft camp. Composed footballer, good overhead and nimble enough able to get out of tight spaces. Ticks all the boxes for a modern athlete/footballer. Given Tom Harley’s no. 2 guernsey.

What we say: Claims to model himself on Andrew Mackie, which I’m almost certain isn't a good thing… Wait, does he mean 2010 or 2008 Mackie?

Best-case scenario: Brendan Goddard. Versatile utility with the size to play deep forward and defence as well as the skills, speed and vision to play in the middle. Not sure whether he has any relatives in prison.

Worst-case scenario: One of the Shaw brothers, Heath or Rhyce, which ever one sits a kick off the play without an opponent and gathers cheap possessions before butchering the ball going forward… Either one, really.

Pick 23: Cameron Guthrie, 186cm, 79kg
What they say: Smooth midfielder with good skills who runs all day. Does everything well but perhaps not anything great. Calder Cannon B&F winner and potential run-with player who did the job on a couple of top U/18 players. Apparently has as much potential as any of the top 10 picks. Given Ablett’s no. 29 guernsey.

What we say: Maybe someone to fill Cameron Ling’s shoes as Geelong’s tagger. Already has more scalps off the field than Ling.

Best-case scenario: Brad Sewell. Now, hear me out. Sewell goes all day and is able to tag players while winning contested ball and hurting the opposition the other way.

Worst-case scenario: Brent Prismall. Went from being Geelong’s next big thing to being a below average contributor for the Bombers… The Bendigo Bombers.

Pick 37: George Horlin-Smith, 186cm, 70kg
What they say: A former U/16 Australian cricketer who is a late convert to full-time football. Highly skilled utility with excellent vision and decision-making skills who likes to bring teammates into the game. Played only a handful of games for Sturt’s U/18 side this year but has plenty of upside and one point was tipped to go top 20. Given Max Rooke’s no. 33 guernsey (farewell and so long, Jared-Max).

What we say: I’m all for drafting anyone who sounds like he’s friends with The Great Gatsby.

Best-case scenario: Scott Pendelbury. What he makes up for in leg speed he compensates for with skills, vision and quick thinking. Plus, Pendelbury looks like he’s friends with The Great Gatsby.

Worst-case scenario: Greg Blewett. All the potential and talent in the world but one glaring weakness; in Blewett’s case getting bowled between bat and pad far too often for an international no. 3. For George, it’s the late start to football and the ahh, ahem, lack of runs on the board.

Pick 54: Jordan Schroeder, 182cm, 85kg
What they say: Rugged inside midfielder who finds his own ball. A long, penetrating right footer who likes to get forward to kick goals and actually won the Calder Cannons goal-kicking playing as a midfielder. Adds a hard edge to go long with good skills. Given Ryan Gamble’s no. 15 guernsey (Speaking of Gamble, do you think the Saints will give him Charlie Gardiner’s old number? Did Ross Lyon re-release the same press statement from last year? Will Justin Koschitzke just call him Charlie? Is there somewhere I can bet on things like “St Kilda to re-draft Mitch Duncan in 2014”? The only way this could be funnier is if the Saints somehow make room on their list for Cameron Thurley.)

What we say: Good to see a Western suburbs hard-ass get on the list. Completes a potentially strong HTS group of draftees for the Cats; Mrs Watson picked the wrong year to start wearing glasses.

Best-case scenario: Matthew Boyd. Compares himself to Boyd and if he can get near that level of production at this level will be a steal at pick 54.

Worst-case scenario: Brad Boyd. The once supposed midfield gun who quietly faded away. To be honest, I just used him here due to his surname.

The Forgotten Man, or, Come Pick Me (Up)


Much to my surprise, and equally to my disappointment that I was caught unaware, as I was flipping around the box the other evening I stumbled upon the second one-day match between Australia and Sri Lanka. Having completely missed the first match, and finding this one only by chance, I quickly surmised two things: First, my love for One HD and my reliance on the genius idea of sports-dedicated free-to-air TV channel has me so blinded that not only am I trying to talk myself into the NBL but I had no idea cricket season had started. And two, that I had been avoiding Channel 9 for very good reasons. (I mean, does “The Big Bang Theory” really need to be fast tracked from the US? People were demanding new episodes? Television in this country continues to baffle me.)

Once aware, however, I settled in for the bitterly disappointing finish to game two as well as the misleading optimism of game three. And my conclusion on the current state of Australian cricket was that Australia is going to lose the Ashes. Or, perhaps more accurately, they should lose the Ashes.

Now, Captain, I hear the grammatically inclined among you wonder, when you say “should” do you mean the auxiliary verb usage as in they “shall” lose the Ashes, or to express duty, as in they “ought” to lose The Ashes? Well, it’s a little from column A and a little from column B.

England is certainly in better form, they have a settled side, a couple of players in career best form and are coming over here with as much confidence as any English team since Alan Lamb was prominently involved. Conversely, Australia’s confidence is lower than at any point since the Greg Ritchie era, they are losing unlosable matches and are facing constant criticism over the captaincy, dressing room morale and team selection. Not good times. (Is it a coincidence these issues are arising at the exact same time that Shane Watson has emerged as Australia’s best cricketer? And how much of an upset is that from as recently as two years ago? It’s like that bozo from ‘American Pie’ winning an Oscar two years after willingly penetrating a desert dish.)

By saying Australia should lose the Ashes what I mean to say is that, while England certainly deserve to be favourites, it may not be such a bad thing for this current team to lose a home Ashes series and thus be forced to examine the current philosophies behind team selection and direction.

Granted, Australian team selection is hard a job, and it becomes that much harder when some of the first choice players are losing touch and yet the next crop are unproven; it’s a balancing act between experience, potential and form. But, it’s every Australian’s right to criticize selection without qualification or information, and, to very loosely paraphrase Tim Rogers, at what point does a good cricketer in a form slump become a not so good cricketer?

Mike Hussey, and to a lesser extent Marcus North, have been terrific Australian players, but they were both selected for the National team at a relatively late age and on the back of ridiculously successful State level careers (Darren Lehman also fits this profile). The pay-off, however, for picking seasoned players for the National team is that their Test careers, naturally, have to be shorter: if you get into the Test team at age 30, you aren’t going to be able to play as much National cricket as someone like Michael Clarke who was fast-tracked at age 21, even if you feel like you want a deserve more Tests. Especially when as a batsmen you rely so much on eyesight and reflex. Darren Lehman had the good graces to step aside because he saw the promise of the afore-mentioned Clarke and he understood the way good teams need to regularly turn players over – keeping that mix of experience, potential and form. But not everyone has the timing of Darren Lehman and Australian selectors need to recognize this earlier.

As Tim, a friend of mine and of BLLL, recently emailed me, yes, Hussey and North are still capable of big scores but it happens so infrequently that it’s purely the law of averages rather than them imposing themselves on the game: A broken clock tells the right time twice a day, or, as Sidney Dean once said, “even the sun shines on a dog’s ass.” And seeing as though Callum Ferguson has been seemingly penciled in as a future Australian Test player for the past 3 or 4 years, what exactly has to happen for him to finally play? How embarrassingly impotent can this middle order get?

If Ferguson’s admittedly thin first class numbers don’t blow you away, or if both Hussey and North are to go, how about Usman Khawaja, the young lefty averaging 54 with seven 50s and six 100s? Or has Cam White shown enough to be a Test no 6? He’s certainly the best first slipper in the country, something the team has lacked since probably Mark Taylor’s departure. And if he can still contribute with the ball that would certainly help his cause.

At the very top of the order Phil Hughes is one player who had an excellent state record at a relatively young age, yet was not given the chance he deserved, especially considering the current openers are converted middle order players who have been given every chance. Post-Ashes you’d hope Katich makes way and Hughes is given an extended run.

It would be unwise to move Watson now given his recent form and especially if he continues bowling as well as he has been. (I love stump-to-stump medium pacers – Is there anything more enjoyable in sport than a plumb LBW appeal/send-off?) Clarke stays in the team almost by default, but under the condition that he never again appear in twenty20 games or underwear commercials. And Ponting can stay if he’s big enough to slide to 5 or 6 and play without being captain. (This technique seems to work for most batsmen who give up that responsibility late in their careers. And, to be honest, he's still probably Australia's most damaging batsmen.) And Tim Paine coming in for Haddin is a formality.

As for bowling, Nathan Hauritz needs to be retired the way racehorses are retired – just pull out the screen and let Greg Chappell put him down humanely. Or at the very least, he should be sentenced to playing no higher level ever again than the Parramatta 3rds where a series of hungover tradesman repeatedly loft him over mid-on.

Steve Smith looks a little too much like Cam White 2.0 for my liking, Xavier Doherty seems to be a one day specialist but might be worth a look and Kerry O'Keefe's kid isn't quite there yet (from what I understand). Which leaves us with (drum roll, please!) Jason 'Krazy' Krejza, who was given a mysteriously short run considering, a) N Hauritz's inexplicable career and b) he almost bowled India out single-handedly in his 2nd match. He has 13 wickets from two matches and never got another look. That’s criminal. Plus, he’s a classic tail-end slogger, and there’s not enough of them left these days.

Ben Hilfenhaus should be first seamer picked if he’s fit, but the other two spots are an absolute battle as there is currently, and surprisingly, an amazing amount of depth in Australian fast bowling stocks. Do you go with the mercurial Mitch Johnson or the graft of Doug Bollinger? How about the great one-day numbers of Ryan Harris versus the hustle and bounce of Peter Siddle? If you want to go a bit younger then there’s the impressive Josh Hazlewood, Peter George who has debuted already, Mitchell Starc who looked terrific in his second one-dayer recently or even Stuey MacGill’s pick, New South Welshman Mark Cameron who, in 12 first class matches, has taken 10 wickets twice!

I’d find it hard to drop Mitchell Johnson, although he is frustrating. He looks capable of anything but appears only slightly above average most of the time. But he still rips out five completely unplayable deliveries a match. He’s essentially the cricket equivalent of Ryan Adams.

So I think my near future Test 12 (with apologies to Ryan Harris) looks like this:

Shane Watson (Valuable as the fourth seamer)
Phil Hughes (Needs some time but capable of massive scores)
Michael Clarke (Bit of a gamble at 3, maybe Punter stays here)
Callum Ferguson (Has the class but not the numbers… yet)
Dick Ponting (How many 100s would he make not having to face the new ball?)
Cam White (Not 100% sold on this but has better State numbers than Ferguson)
Tim Paine (Automatic selection post-Haddin)
Mitch Johnson (Worth it for the “Come Pick Me Up” moments)
Jason Krejza (Unless Steve Smith improves 80% in two months)
Ben Hilfenhaus (Love his work, top beard)
Peter Siddle (The team needs an enforcer)
Doug Bollinger (Hasn’t done much wrong since given a chance)

Now all we need is England to do their job and we might get a chance to… Wait, I’m relying on England winning in Australia? Ah, forget it, good luck for the 2013 season, Huss.