The Draft: The Great Gatsby & Friends


As AFL players returned to the training track this past week, I got my first chilling look at Gary Ablett’s new life; as he sat courtside for a Gold Coast Blaze NBL game. (Yes, I’m actually trying to talk myself into the NBL. Although, having watched a few games, I can’t shake the feeling that the ’92 Supercats would have run through this league like Vincent Chase through the Playboy mansion.) And as Mrs Watson wondered out loud about Gold Coast Gary’s favourite theme park (we settled on Wet ‘n Wild, because Nath loves the waterslides) I realized I had yet to do my ‘half-assed, uniformed AFL draft review’! So without further ado…

Pick 15: Billie Smedts, 190cm, 79kg
What they say: 190cm utility who spent most of his time at halfback but capable of forward and midfield roles. Tested well in the sprint, agility and skills section of the draft camp. Composed footballer, good overhead and nimble enough able to get out of tight spaces. Ticks all the boxes for a modern athlete/footballer. Given Tom Harley’s no. 2 guernsey.

What we say: Claims to model himself on Andrew Mackie, which I’m almost certain isn't a good thing… Wait, does he mean 2010 or 2008 Mackie?

Best-case scenario: Brendan Goddard. Versatile utility with the size to play deep forward and defence as well as the skills, speed and vision to play in the middle. Not sure whether he has any relatives in prison.

Worst-case scenario: One of the Shaw brothers, Heath or Rhyce, which ever one sits a kick off the play without an opponent and gathers cheap possessions before butchering the ball going forward… Either one, really.

Pick 23: Cameron Guthrie, 186cm, 79kg
What they say: Smooth midfielder with good skills who runs all day. Does everything well but perhaps not anything great. Calder Cannon B&F winner and potential run-with player who did the job on a couple of top U/18 players. Apparently has as much potential as any of the top 10 picks. Given Ablett’s no. 29 guernsey.

What we say: Maybe someone to fill Cameron Ling’s shoes as Geelong’s tagger. Already has more scalps off the field than Ling.

Best-case scenario: Brad Sewell. Now, hear me out. Sewell goes all day and is able to tag players while winning contested ball and hurting the opposition the other way.

Worst-case scenario: Brent Prismall. Went from being Geelong’s next big thing to being a below average contributor for the Bombers… The Bendigo Bombers.

Pick 37: George Horlin-Smith, 186cm, 70kg
What they say: A former U/16 Australian cricketer who is a late convert to full-time football. Highly skilled utility with excellent vision and decision-making skills who likes to bring teammates into the game. Played only a handful of games for Sturt’s U/18 side this year but has plenty of upside and one point was tipped to go top 20. Given Max Rooke’s no. 33 guernsey (farewell and so long, Jared-Max).

What we say: I’m all for drafting anyone who sounds like he’s friends with The Great Gatsby.

Best-case scenario: Scott Pendelbury. What he makes up for in leg speed he compensates for with skills, vision and quick thinking. Plus, Pendelbury looks like he’s friends with The Great Gatsby.

Worst-case scenario: Greg Blewett. All the potential and talent in the world but one glaring weakness; in Blewett’s case getting bowled between bat and pad far too often for an international no. 3. For George, it’s the late start to football and the ahh, ahem, lack of runs on the board.

Pick 54: Jordan Schroeder, 182cm, 85kg
What they say: Rugged inside midfielder who finds his own ball. A long, penetrating right footer who likes to get forward to kick goals and actually won the Calder Cannons goal-kicking playing as a midfielder. Adds a hard edge to go long with good skills. Given Ryan Gamble’s no. 15 guernsey (Speaking of Gamble, do you think the Saints will give him Charlie Gardiner’s old number? Did Ross Lyon re-release the same press statement from last year? Will Justin Koschitzke just call him Charlie? Is there somewhere I can bet on things like “St Kilda to re-draft Mitch Duncan in 2014”? The only way this could be funnier is if the Saints somehow make room on their list for Cameron Thurley.)

What we say: Good to see a Western suburbs hard-ass get on the list. Completes a potentially strong HTS group of draftees for the Cats; Mrs Watson picked the wrong year to start wearing glasses.

Best-case scenario: Matthew Boyd. Compares himself to Boyd and if he can get near that level of production at this level will be a steal at pick 54.

Worst-case scenario: Brad Boyd. The once supposed midfield gun who quietly faded away. To be honest, I just used him here due to his surname.