Walnut surprise, or, the importance of breakfast
Captain: Just over halfway through the season and Geelong have the same record as Hawthorn; not exactly awe inspiring stuff, but on the positive side, at least we’ve gotten our annual 5 game losing streak out of the way. And I like this team having to play the rest of the season with a ‘backs to the wall’ attitude. Without giving away too much of our mid-season review (which we’ll be doing next week) where do you think this season is headed?
Mrs Watson: I predict no surprises. One of the interstate teams will win it: Adelaide (most likely), or Sydney or WC. As far as Geelong goes, I hope they make the finals, but it’s unlikely they will. I’m still confident we have a great side, though, so a few miraculous victories might see us squeeze in. But who will make room for us? Richmond, probably. Freo are on their way down. Maybe Port?
Captain: I don’t think I could be surprised by anything the AFL throws at me anymore; it’s been that kind of season. Dean Laidley’s killing his members, Dean Brogan’s trying to kill supporters, Blake Caracella was almost killed, and Leigh Matthews is no doubt finalising the contract on Aker’s head; and you’d think death would be sweet relief for Justin Koschitske at this point. Did you see him pass out on TV? The most disturbing part of that clip was that David Schwarz is still gainfully employed in the media.
Mrs Watson: Don’t start me on Schwarz!! Absolute goose, that man. As for Koschitske, after seeing that footage, it looks to me as though there maybe something a little more serious involved than simply, “he forgot his breakfast.” Shit, I’d pass out three times a week if missing breakfast caused black outs like that. Man, I saw that live and he reminded me of one the Word Trade towers collapsing. If only Schwarz was around on September 11th to awkwardly prop a few buildings up, the New York skyline would remain unchanged today. Take that terrorists, Schwarta’s had his breakfast this morning! Fuckin’ mama’s boy.
Captain: And his rambling, nonsensical reply, right before he went down, was impossible to distinguish from his regular answers. Must see TV. On to the coaches; seriously, how have Chris Connelly and Walnut Thomas still got jobs? Peter Everitt called Thomas a mini-bus – half a coach. I don’t reckon I’d hire him to manage a Sizzler.
Mrs Watson: The problem with Thomas though, is that he runs the whole show down at St Kilda. He’s arranged it so that only he can sack himself. It’s genius really; almost super-villain-esque. Hmmmm…I wonder, did Krang like walnuts? Anyway, as for Chris Connelly, the man should never have been hired. Did he even play football? He sure doesn’t look like he’d make much of a footballer – possibly a women’s t-ball coach, but certainly not a sportsman. I’m starting to think he isn’t Fremantle’s problem though. I just think they kinda stink.
Captain: According to Garry Lyon, Chris Connelly was in line to be Melbourne’s next captain before knee injuries cut his career short; probably the best thing that ever happened to Melbourne. You’re right though, he was a poor choice from the get go; after Damien Drum and Connelly, Gerard Neesham must look like Ron Freakin’ Barassi to Docker fans. Speaking of ending careers, the AFL is in a bit of transitional stage at the moment with a lot good players retiring, or being pretty close to it. It will be interesting to see which players step up to fill that superstar void. Lance Franklin would be my bet. And Ryan Griffen from the Bulldogs; how good is he? (That’s rhetorical, by the way.)
Mrs Watson: I predict the next true AFL superstar will be Mark Blake. He’s got talent written all over him. Seriously. But yeah, Franklin looks alright. He could be a hoax though, like Riewoldt.
Captain: Aaah, Saint Nick. I will never get over Dwayne Russell referring to him as ‘the angelic Riewoldt’. Poof. Yes, the Blake experiment is coming along nicely, considering it always takes big guys longer to develop. It would be handy if they taught him to kick, however. A future captain, perhaps? Any thoughts on who should follow Steven King?
Mrs Watson: Gee, we’re really covering all bases here. I could write a whole blog on this topic (in fact, I think I will), but I think the job should go to Ling.
Captain: Captain Junkstats! We are drifting just a little, aren’t we? We can cover some of these topics next week anyway. In regards to the games, from memory Daz tipped the Roos over the Blues and the Swans over the Pies; two safe picks. Final thoughts Mrs. Watson?
Mrs. Watson: When chased by cannonball, hide by river. Out.
Captain: Just over halfway through the season and Geelong have the same record as Hawthorn; not exactly awe inspiring stuff, but on the positive side, at least we’ve gotten our annual 5 game losing streak out of the way. And I like this team having to play the rest of the season with a ‘backs to the wall’ attitude. Without giving away too much of our mid-season review (which we’ll be doing next week) where do you think this season is headed?
Mrs Watson: I predict no surprises. One of the interstate teams will win it: Adelaide (most likely), or Sydney or WC. As far as Geelong goes, I hope they make the finals, but it’s unlikely they will. I’m still confident we have a great side, though, so a few miraculous victories might see us squeeze in. But who will make room for us? Richmond, probably. Freo are on their way down. Maybe Port?
Captain: I don’t think I could be surprised by anything the AFL throws at me anymore; it’s been that kind of season. Dean Laidley’s killing his members, Dean Brogan’s trying to kill supporters, Blake Caracella was almost killed, and Leigh Matthews is no doubt finalising the contract on Aker’s head; and you’d think death would be sweet relief for Justin Koschitske at this point. Did you see him pass out on TV? The most disturbing part of that clip was that David Schwarz is still gainfully employed in the media.
Mrs Watson: Don’t start me on Schwarz!! Absolute goose, that man. As for Koschitske, after seeing that footage, it looks to me as though there maybe something a little more serious involved than simply, “he forgot his breakfast.” Shit, I’d pass out three times a week if missing breakfast caused black outs like that. Man, I saw that live and he reminded me of one the Word Trade towers collapsing. If only Schwarz was around on September 11th to awkwardly prop a few buildings up, the New York skyline would remain unchanged today. Take that terrorists, Schwarta’s had his breakfast this morning! Fuckin’ mama’s boy.
Captain: And his rambling, nonsensical reply, right before he went down, was impossible to distinguish from his regular answers. Must see TV. On to the coaches; seriously, how have Chris Connelly and Walnut Thomas still got jobs? Peter Everitt called Thomas a mini-bus – half a coach. I don’t reckon I’d hire him to manage a Sizzler.
Mrs Watson: The problem with Thomas though, is that he runs the whole show down at St Kilda. He’s arranged it so that only he can sack himself. It’s genius really; almost super-villain-esque. Hmmmm…I wonder, did Krang like walnuts? Anyway, as for Chris Connelly, the man should never have been hired. Did he even play football? He sure doesn’t look like he’d make much of a footballer – possibly a women’s t-ball coach, but certainly not a sportsman. I’m starting to think he isn’t Fremantle’s problem though. I just think they kinda stink.
Captain: According to Garry Lyon, Chris Connelly was in line to be Melbourne’s next captain before knee injuries cut his career short; probably the best thing that ever happened to Melbourne. You’re right though, he was a poor choice from the get go; after Damien Drum and Connelly, Gerard Neesham must look like Ron Freakin’ Barassi to Docker fans. Speaking of ending careers, the AFL is in a bit of transitional stage at the moment with a lot good players retiring, or being pretty close to it. It will be interesting to see which players step up to fill that superstar void. Lance Franklin would be my bet. And Ryan Griffen from the Bulldogs; how good is he? (That’s rhetorical, by the way.)
Mrs Watson: I predict the next true AFL superstar will be Mark Blake. He’s got talent written all over him. Seriously. But yeah, Franklin looks alright. He could be a hoax though, like Riewoldt.
Captain: Aaah, Saint Nick. I will never get over Dwayne Russell referring to him as ‘the angelic Riewoldt’. Poof. Yes, the Blake experiment is coming along nicely, considering it always takes big guys longer to develop. It would be handy if they taught him to kick, however. A future captain, perhaps? Any thoughts on who should follow Steven King?
Mrs Watson: Gee, we’re really covering all bases here. I could write a whole blog on this topic (in fact, I think I will), but I think the job should go to Ling.
Captain: Captain Junkstats! We are drifting just a little, aren’t we? We can cover some of these topics next week anyway. In regards to the games, from memory Daz tipped the Roos over the Blues and the Swans over the Pies; two safe picks. Final thoughts Mrs. Watson?
Mrs. Watson: When chased by cannonball, hide by river. Out.
posted by the captain at 1:24 pm
1 Comments:
Didn't scarlet flash his dick at some kids a few years ago? Yea he would be excellent to represent Geelong, no I really mean that. Thats pretty much what this town is about.
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