Kissing the Lipless (Goodbye)

A week is a long time in footy, apparently. And a few things of note have happened since my last… Ok, forget it. Essentially the Geelong Football Club is falling apart and I’ve been quieter than Leon Davis on Grand Final day. Terrible job by me and I vow to do better over trade week, the draft period and even during the Ashes.

But for argument’s sake, let’s say I was suffering ‘burnout’ and that after four highly successful years I was unsure if I wanted to continue Big League Little League next year. You, as readers, would probably be likely to think, ‘thank you, but we’d like someone who actually gives a shit’. Perhaps you’d make more ‘mailing it in’ comments, perhaps you’d encourage me to lift, but eventually you’d stop reading.

Yes, I’m no longer talking about me. And yes, Mark-Bomber-Lips-Thompson ‘not knowing’ if he wants to coach again next season is as good as not wanting to.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not calling for his head. However this plays out, he will go down in history as not only Geelong’s greatest coach, (doing what so many before him failed to do, including another BLLL favourite Malcolm Blight) but possibly as the man behind the most dominant team and game-style in AFL history. Not only that but he was likeable, refused to play idiotic media games, gave birth to one of Mrs Watson’s more memorable nicknames and was at one stage rumored to be sleeping with half the housewives in Geelong West. Good times. But if his heart is longer 100% in it there will be more lost than gained by him staying around.

The Cats are at the most interesting of crossroads. Their record against top four teams this season was woeful. Against lesser opposition they were still able to turn it on for a quarter or two and put games away, but the kamikaze handball, play-on at all costs game-plan that produced 2 flags is no longer holding up against the best. Lips Thompson has only one more year to run on his contract, the country’s best player is on the verge of leaving and an extremely important trade and draft period are almost upon us. And now the coach is saying maybe he doesn’t want the job?

There’s no time for the club to wait and see any more. Change will come with or without their plans and they may not have a better opportunity to add a few new faces, lose a few old ones, implement some wrinkles into the game plan and find a new voice to yell at Andrew Mackie.

Some hard decisions need to be made and this is the time to make them. ‘Lips’ won’t be around to do it. Gary Junior either. But don’t worry, not everyone’s leaving. The Cats haven’t quite burnt me out just yet.

If there's ever any doubt, there is no doubt

Last week Geelong went down to the Saints on a half free kick, they haven’t lost two games in a row since Henry Playfair was prominently involved and Freo haven’t played at the MCG ALL FRICKIN’ YEAR! I mean, really, did anyone, besides attention seeking assholes making the ‘anti’ pick, actually convince themselves of a Fremantle win?

The Semi-Final was merely a matter of getting through without injury and/or report (check, but close) and finding some form and confidence (double check). No, the test was always going to be the up-coming Prelim where Collingwood presents a very different, and to state the obvious, much more difficult challenge.

Here are some random thoughts on the Fremantle game, the up-coming Collingwood game and various other things.

• The Geelong forward line, nay, team looks 20% better with Podsy in it. When he started limping off in the 2nd quarter my heart needed to be manually restarted. Luckily someone at the bar had the correct iphone app.

• Interesting decision by Freo to play Aaron Sandilands. He was invisible up forward and around the ground he was moving slower than a Filipino SWAT team.

• I was pretty surprised about the dropping of Mackie but Muscles hasn’t been great for a while now. He’s like ‘Entourage’, trading on good form from two seasons ago.

• His replacement however, ‘Beans’ Lonergan, doesn’t exactly fill one with confidence. I mean, eventually even deer move out of the headlights, right?

• Just when Mark Harvey had most people fooled, he picks Des ‘Mirage’ Headland for the biggest game of their season, when he hadn’t played seniors since round four and a decent game since 2001. This was such a ridiculous, panic move that I can’t even think of a flimsy analogous gag.

• Did you see the shots of Max Rooke sitting in the stands? I think I would pay $2000 to spend a night drinking with him. I’m not even joking.

• I know Shaun McManus retired a couple of years ago but I didn’t realise that the Dockers had given his hair a new 3-year deal.

• Coming soon to Youtube: “The flying Wojcinski: part 3”

• Does anyone else get the feeling that Travis Varcoe is beginning to realise that, “hey, I might actually be good at this!”?

• Paul ‘Snapman’ might get the “Mr September” tag, but has ‘Tickets’ ever disappointed in a big game?

• Games like the Freo one always remind me just how deep Geelong run in the midfield. Ablett, Bartel, Selwood and Kelly were all outstanding, while Corey, Wojo and Varcoe were all extremely important. Not to mention Chappy and Steve Johnson, who went into the centre in the 4th quarter and actually looked good with some smart clearance work. (Oh, and how good was his no-look handpass? I don’t like showing opponents up after the game is all but over, but I did get a kick outta that.)

• The good thing about the Matthew Knights firing was that at least it didn’t come two seasons too late and after they’d given him a completely undeserved extension at over $800 000 a season… Oh, wait…

• The good thing about Brad Johnson’s retirement was that at least it didn’t come a season too late and after it derailed the Bulldogs season and forced his manager to make a ridiculous excuse like getting hit with a slow-moving golf-cart was the real problem… Oh, wait…

• Hey, did you guys know that apparently Brett Kirk was the “heart & soul” of the Sydney Swans? I had no idea!

• Joel Corey at halfback seems to be working out well (but who’s his match-up against Collingwood?) which means it’s harder to squeeze Mackie back in. If I were a Geelong nightclub bouncer I’d be on high alert.

• Lips has started early this week, calling Collingwood jealous of Geelong’s recent success. I believe Mick Malthouse responded with “are not!”

• I would like to unreservedly apologise for that last joke. Even ‘Lehmo’ would have left that one on the cutting room floor.

• Actually, ‘Lehmo’ would have run with it and followed it up with “then he ran home and told his mum” as the applause light flashes furiously in an attempt to drown out the sound of a lifeless mule getting flogged, Dave Hughes groaning and Mick Molloy pining for Tony Martin to save his career again.

• Good thinking by Mick Malthouse to launch his website this week, he’ll have plenty of time to update it after Friday. (Seriously, what is the point of it? The only thing I hope happens is that he uses it to continually undermine Nathan Buckley next season, which I wouldn’t past him.)

• Is anyone really worried about Chris Dawes? He sounds like an electrician. And is being described as “Koschitzke-like” supposed to be a compliment or insult? Have we decided this yet?

• And finally, Godspeed Big League readers, something tells me this one is going to 2007-esque. Better update that apple De-fib app.