Mayonaise & The Electro-Pop Superstar



While we Geelong fans bask in the dim light of Grand Final ‘towel-up’ afterglow and nurse several vital organs back to health after the all-out alcohol war waged upon them, the vigilant staff at the GFC are, not unlike a certain captain, *ahem*,still at work, preparing, planning and tweaking an already loaded roster in search of back-to-back premiership glory. So while most refer to this as the off-season, it’s more like the ‘off-the-field’ season. (See what I did there?) This is what’s happening:

Trades
As covered a while back, The Cats offloaded Tim Callan to the Bulldogs for pick 62, Hank Playfair to Sydney, astonishingly, for Pick 44 and Steven King and Charlie Gardiner to St. Kilda for pick 90 and half a jar of ‘Miracle Whip’. These trades freed up salary cap room and did the right thing by players who couldn’t crack the Cats regular rotation. What it also did was free up roster spots on the Cats list.

List Management
The AFL allows each club to keep 40 players on their senior list, as well as up to 2 veterans and a maximum of six players on the rookie list. For 2008, kidney-man Tom Lonergan and Jason Davenport have both been promoted from the rookie to the senior list.

We all know Lonergan’s off-field story pretty well by now, but on the field he does seem to have an excellent set of mitts, something you can’t teach. It’ll be interesting to see how he progresses with a full pre-season and weight training schedule throughout 2008.

Jason Davenport is a lightly built, skilful, lightning quick flanker/winger who loves a goal, (38 in the VFL). He kinda reminds me of Jason Akermanis in the way he can burst away from a pack, close to the 50m line and then finish from the distance. Also, like Aka, he doesn’t mind celebrating a goal.

Leaving the club are Matthew Spencer, Stephen Owen and Sam Hunt, who have all been delisted. Spencer, a Mrs Watson favourite, couldn’t quite pull it all together, Sam Hunt didn’t have the ‘pedigree’ for the top flight and Owen will miss 2008, and therefore 2009 AFL, recovering from an ACL. On top of this, 2007 rookie listed players Joel Reynolds and Todd Grima will not be retained, while Liam Bedford will spend another year on the rookie list.

Grima is the big surprise here for me, having led the VFL team in goal-kicking and shown some real talent. I dare say he’ll find a home somewhere else. It also shows a fair bit of faith in Nathan Ablett and Hatchet Hawkins, as Grima was the only other key position forward in the VFL side.

So to recap, gone are Steven King, Charlie Gardiner, Henry Playfair, Tim Callan, Matthew Spencer, Stephen Owen, Sam Hunt, Todd Grima and Joel Reynolds. While in comes Jason Davenport, Tom Lonergan and Father/Son draftee Adam Donohue.

The Draft
All this means that The Cats will use 5 draft picks (17, 34, 44 and 50 plus the Adam Donohue pick) and have four rookie spots available. The other draft selections they have, yet are not obliged to use, are 62, 82, 90 and 98.

I don’t know much about Adam Donohue, except that he is a mid-sized player, apparently suited to the flanks and midfield. What I do know is that another forward flanker is not exactly at the top of our needs list.

Of the players that have gone so far, most of them (Playfair, Spencer, Hunt, Owen, Reynolds) have either occupied that key, tall defensive role, or were being groomed for it. On top of this, Milburn is 30, Harley and Scarlett are close and we missed Egan desperately against Collingwood in the prelim.

The Cats should be looking to draft a tall defender with the 17th pick. Here’s a brief rundown on who might be available:

The Blue-Chipper: Tom Collier (192cm, 86kg)
Collier is a tall, versatile, quick defender who could play on most types of forwards. He can also run and attack from the back if required. Collier has senior experience at VFL level and was captain of the Tassie Mariners U/18 side. He was almost drafted last year and could probably step right into the AFL, round 1. Unfortunately, Collier will likely be gone by pick 17.

The Reach: David Gourdis (193cm, 88kg)
Gourdis is an athletic type who can play both ends of the grounds and has been compared to Fremantle’s Luke McPharlin. He’s fast, having won the 20m sprint at the draft camp, but possibly a bit of a stretch at pick 17 as he’s expected to go in the mid-20’s.

The Local: Chris Kangars (193cm, 84kg)
Geelong Falcon Chris Kangars’ first choice sport was 400m running, in which he has recorded sub 48 second times. He also won the 30m repeat sprint event at the draft camp, an event used to measure speed, recovery and endurance. He has been compared to Jared Brennan, although he’s probably faster, in that they are both athletes with the height of a key position player. Contests well but may need to work on his skills and reading of the play.

The Plan B: Pat Veszpremi (181cm, 83kg)
Veszpremi would be a complete 180 from picking a key defender but is one of the best midfielders in the draft likely to be available at pick 17. He is a hard-tackling presence, runs hard, has great skills, does all the little things and has shown the ability to kick goals.

The Pick: Tayte Pears (192cm, 90kg)
Pears brings good size to the position at 192cm and 90kg, considering that Matthew Scarlett is 192cm and 95kg. He is very strong in the air and should be ready for the AFL. He wasn't far off AIS selection last year and was one of the more impressive defenders over the course of the U/18 carnival: Against Vic Country he had 17 disposals, seven marks and four rebounds from defensive 50. Plus, with a name like that he should be fronting a British electro-pop band, which will give Mrs W and I plenty of ridiculous nickname opportunities. If Pears is there at 17, The Cats should grab him.

Bring on 2008.

Cousins & Kids

I didn’t think I’d be writing my first ‘Eagles-in-another-drug-scandal’ piece until at least January, and I actually had another blog ready to go (which I’ll now post early next week). But as a shirtless Ben Cousins flashed up on my TV screen, being escorted into the back of a cop car, I thought, ‘what a shame’.

It’s a shame that he will probably now be forever implicated, however incorrectly, with Chris Mainwaring’s death. It’s a shame he will probably be suspended from the AFL. It’s a shame he will suffer further estrangement from those who have supported him. It’s a shame he will face, I’d imagine, a pretty serious criminal charge. And it’s a shame because, really, it’s probably not all that warranted.

For all the scathing press he’s received Ben Cousins has never tested positive to a drug test. His stint in a Californian rehab centre was, while probably strongly advised by his club, essentially his choice. And despite some rather notorious acquaintances, to date the extent of his criminal behaviour is limited to traffic offences. Hardly the modern-day bushranger the press, or his gregarious tattoo, would have you believe.

However, I am not totally naïve. Cousins allegedly refused to provide a sample for drug testing, which probably means he was high; something almost confirmed by him driving around without a shirt at midnight on a Tuesday. So to be arrested and charged with something like, driving under the influence seems fair enough: The way in which Cousins has been singled out and vilified, however, is not.

Cousins was not stopped at a drug bus, or in a random traffic stop. His car was surrounded by organized crime squad members who handcuffed Cousins and searched his car for over an hour in full view of any on-lookers. They apparently did find an ‘unknown’ amount of some prohibited drug, yet two passengers in his car had already been released before the search took place. Cousins was then paraded around, not even allowed to put on a shirt. No offence to the W.A. organised crime squad, but I hardly think Ben Cousins is the lynch-pin in Perth’s drug scene: This wasn’t an arrest, it was a public humiliation.

Yes, he’s guilty of using recreational drugs, something I would guess 80% of Australians in their 20’s are also guilty of; big fucking deal. This is a country that routinely hosts massive dance parties where drugs are not just used, they’re a pre-requisite to enjoy the event: You think people like music over 160bpm? No-one likes that shit. But if I’m gonna be twitching for 6 straight hours anyway, at least let me do it in time with something.

Again, Cousins has never tested positive for anything, even though the AFL’s insistence on testing for non-performance enhancing drugs borders on invasion of privacy. Instead he went public about his drug usage, explaining, in not so many words, that he’s into it, but he wants to play, so he’ll go clean up. For some people this wasn’t enough because he didn’t seem ‘sorry enough’. Damn right. He wasn’t sorry because he didn’t have anyone to apologise to. There are plenty of people who use more drugs than Ben Cousins and they don’t get tested at work. They don’t cop shit in the media. They don’t get jacked by Organised Crime Squads. Perhaps we should be apologising to him.

Older members of society have no idea about today’s recreational drug use, or drug culture any more than their parents knew about the shit happening in the 70’s. And the same thing will continue to happen with my kids and Ben Cousins’ kids, unless of course they attend a NSW primary school.

What will happen now is that the Eagles will have to sack Cousins, the police will have to lay charges and we will have to be exposed to a never-ending series of ‘drugs-are-bad/Cousins-must-be-stopped’ stories by a media that is so driven by celebrity that it has no need for any basis in reality. And that’s the real shame.

Judd Week, or, Who's got Gardiner?

Trade week, as always, has raised some issues about player movement, club interference and the transparency of the whole process. Due to the current guidelines, however, this will always be the case. God knows, I’ve read enough ‘Carlton-worked-the-system-beautifully’ articles this week to know. Talk about your back-handed compliment.

The problem, as I see it, is that because Chris Judd chose Carlton as his preferred destination, and was then dutifully traded there, it appears is if the clubs are at the mercy of their players. For if the Eagles chose not to deal with Carlton, Judd would have walked, leaving the Eagles with nothing and leaving Carlton free to grab him anyway in the pre-season draft. That the Blues had enough draft picks and talent to satisfy the Eagles was either a lucky coincidence, or a thoughtful gesture on Judd’s behalf: Either way, the AFL needs to tidy this whole off-season process up.

They need to view the off-season activities holistically, rather than as separate entities. We shouldn’t have trade week, followed by the national draft, followed by the pre-season draft – they should all be one process.

Have a longer period up to and including the national draft so teams have the opportunity to trade into and out of the national draft on the day, as well as after it. Scrap the pre-season draft altogether, along with any ‘priority pick’ system and put out of contract players into the regular draft along with the under-18 talent.

I love trade week and seeing players changing teams, wondering how they’ll fit in and if they’ll finally realise their full potential in new colours. So let’s get it right, because one good trade can turn a club around.

The Blues have been on the border of irrelevancy for 3 years now. Hell, if it wasn’t for their captain being potentially involved in a double family homicide any day now, they wouldn’t get any press at all. But all of a sudden, they’re the most talked about club again. And that’s the thing about getting a player like Chris Judd is that it’s not just about his on-field performance. As soon as Judd nominated Carlton as his preferred destination, Blues fans found that intangible thing that makes sports so appealing; hope.

You watch, Carlton fans will come out of the wood-work to buy memberships. They’ll clean out the stores of over-priced jumpers, with Judd’s new number (I’m guessing maybe 22. He seems like the kind of guy who wouldn’t take the number [5] of player he was traded for). They’ll tell anyone who’ll listen that Judd, Nick Stevens and Marc Murphy is the best midfield going around. They’ll be dreaming about the lace-out delivery that Fevola is going to get. They’ll even start saying things like, “Brett Thornton is one of the best young defenders in the league.” That’s what hope does to you, and that’s what trade week is all about: Hope that your team can improve, that they can pick up that player that will put them over the edge and that they don’t end up holding a press conference featuring Sam Power.

So with that in mind, let’s assess trade week using my patented (read: lazy) system of ‘thumbs up/thumbs down’!

Thumbs Up

Carlton: The Blues got the best player in the league and still managed to hang on to pick number one, which they’ll use on talented ruckman Matthew Kreuzer. They also managed to snag Brisbane midfielder Richard Hadley, who was slowed last year due to recovering from major knee surgery. Add them to a full-forward who sulks and assaults Irishmen, a captain recovering from a broken vertebra and all they need is a full-back, centre half-back and about 12 more consistent performers. Other than that, they’re good to go.

West Coast: They’ve ended up with a young key forward, which they desperately need, and five picks inside the top 30 in the national draft, all for a player who could have hobbled away for nothing. (Which reminds me, would there have been a bigger kick-in-the-balls in AFL history if Judd never fully recovered? Blues fans around Australia are collectively vomiting blood right now.)

Richmond: Apparently Greg Miller came out of his coma some time last year: First Graeme Polak and now this? Jordan McMahon is young enough to turn it around and Mitch Morton was brought in as company for his brother, whom the Tigers will be drafting with their no. 2 pick. Should have a decent list by the time Richo is 45.

Sydney: I like the Marty Mattner pick up for them, I really do. Their most important player is Tahdg Kennelly and when he went down, so did the Swans. Mattner is essentially the same player, only with half the press and an unflattering accent. Plus, Paul Roos has a history of turning big, uncoordinated chops around (Ted Richards, Lewis Roberts-Thomspon, Darren Jolly) so if anyone has a chance with Hank Playfair, it’s him.

Melbourne: If I was Dean Bailey I would be moving a few more guys other than just Travis Johnstone. Still, it’s a good start and more of a statement that anything else. They have picks 4, 14 and 21 in the draft and also brought in young ruckman John Meesen, who apart from posting disturbing pictures on MySpace, is apparently quite a talent.

Thumbs Down

St. Kilda: I think Ross Lyon should just change his name to Paul Roos Junior and be done with it. I mean, it’s not enough to steal their ugly style of play, now he’s taking Sydney’s players and gambling on washed up ruckmen?

Adelaide: Lost both their ruckmen and their best running defender in exchange for an Englishman (Moran) and a player who crapped the sink in the Grand Final (Symes). Where have all those ‘Neil Craig is a Genius’ articles gone?

Brisbane: The Lions somehow get a first round pick for a ruckman who couldn’t beat out Jamie Charman, Beau McDonald, Clark Keating or first year player Mathew Luenberger, and they then turn around and trade that pick for Travis Johnstone. That’s like finding $100 on the ground and then spending it all on a vest: Sure, you found the $100, but when are you ever gonna wear a vest?

Western Bulldogs: When will they learn? Last year they overpaid for a washed up Brownlow medallist, this year they did it for a washed up 3rd string ruckman. Has Rodney Eade taken a massive fall, or was he just over-rated to begin with because he started in such a blaze of glory? He’s the AFL coach equivalent of Sharon Stone.

What Thumbs?
Geelong: Despite the loss of a number of players for relatively little in return, I don’t mind the trade week for The Cats: Most of the moves were necessary due to salary cap restrictions and somehow we were able to talk Sydney into a 3rd pick for Hank Playfair. And, really, who have we lost? Can you ever see the situation arising when Geelong plays St. Kilda where you say, “Geez, who’s gonna cover Charlie Gardiner tonight?” Plus, if Steven King didn’t go it would only have been a matter of time before Mark Blake pulled a Nancy Kerrigan on him anyway. It’s just better this way, trust me.

Trading Chris Judd, or, Plan B

So, West Coast wants picks 1, 3 and 20 in the draft, as well as Josh Kennedy to send Chris Judd to Carlton. They have publicly and continually said this is what Judd is worth and this is the only offer they will accept. Anything less would be insulting, they’ve said. However, they are forgetting one thing; they’ve got no leverage whatsoever.

To recap, the Judd situation has gone something like this:
a) Judd, out of contract, publicly says he wants to return to Melbourne
b) He interviews potential suitors, and nominates Carlton as his club of choice
c) He leaves the two sides to work out a deal
d) Judd's groin is surgically repaired using catgut, seaweed and an old slinky

In some stroke of madness, the AFL gives all 16 clubs only one week to work out every potential trade deal for the upcoming season, so the clock is ticking for the Eagles, if no deal is struck, Judd simply walks and they get nothing. This is what leaves West Coast with no leverage, and perhaps what is responsible for their very public posturing regarding acceptable compensation.

The Blues have apparently made the generous offer of picks 3 and 20 and Kennedy, yet still been refused. I admire the willingness of Carlton to offer proper recompense and, for the sake of the other clubs forced to work under the one week trade window, the swiftness of their offer. However, if I was Carlton, I’d be pulling a Ron Burgundy and saying, ‘Go fuck yourself, West Coast.’

Play hard ball with the fuckers: “Picks 1, 3, 20 and Josh Kennedy not good enough? We offered, can’t do anymore than that… The biscuits are back in the cupboard…” Seriously, it’s time to lowball them now, while holding shady talks with Richmond. Offer them pick 3 only, or pick 20 only. Take Kennedy off the table.

Why Richmond, you ask? If no deal is done, and Judd walks, he then must nominate for the pre-season draft, in which Richmond holds pick no. 1. Now, the Blues do hold pick 2, but for a small fee I’m sure they could get a guarantee from the Tiges that they’ll bypass Judd. And when I say small fee I mean a lot smaller than picks 1, 3, 20 and Josh Kennedy. Now, onto Geelong’s involvement in trade week…

It appears as though VFL Best & Fairest Tim Callan has requested a trade, with (surprise, surprise) the Bulldogs have emerged as a likely suitor. One of the bravest players I’ve seen at Geelong, but prone to the odd skill error, Callan has not been able to crack a regular senior spot with Josh Hunt and pisshead David Johnson ahead of him for that back pocket spot. It will be interesting to see if That Cats can get something done that hopefully doesn’t involve the words, ‘Peter Street’.

Mark Blake has been the other name to pop up occasionally, with some scribes essentially inventing the story that his disappointment from being dropped for the Gand Final has turned to bitterness, which has manifested in a trade request. (That sounds like a medical condition, doesn’t it?) Now, I don’t claim to have any inside knowledge here, but with his family history at the club, the time and money they have already invested in him and the potential greatness of future teams, surely he wouldn’t be boneheaded enough to leave. The Cats will try and keep both him and King, Blake on a long contract, King on a 1 year deal, and experiment with playing 3 ruckmen in the same side, which they threatened to do this year, if only to keep everyone happy.

If not, Brian Cook should put in a call to West Coast; ‘Silkworm’ Blake for Judd? Sounds fair to me.

Geelong 2007 AFL Premiers, or, What Now?

I’m speechless. I’ve been trying to write this blog for three days. I’ve been waiting for my thoughts to crystallise, to come up with an interesting angle. No good. I can’t think of anything other than it couldn’t have finished any other way. Not this season. Not this team.

After finishing with the minor premiership, the Rising Star Award, the Brownlow Medal, the VFL premiership and a record 9 All-Australian players, it was as if Port was there only because Geelong needed someone, anyone, to etch onto the ‘Runners-Up’ section of the trophy.

And perhaps I’m still in shock, or perhaps it’s a side effect of the game being over so early, but for me, it’s almost as if one premiership isn’t enough reward for the dominance displayed by The Cats: Instead of finding relief in a Geelong premiership I have merely found the hunger for more. Typical, eh?

Mark Williams said afterwards that the game ‘was boring’. And while I understand that his team was out of the contest very early, it is an interesting choice of words. Perhaps if The Cats had held Port scoreless he would have been more interested. That’s the only other possible way the game, and the season, deserved to finish.

Geelong, 2007 AFL Premiers; alright…

[Note: I will continue to update Big League Little League semi-regularly in the ‘off-season’, especially around the time of such things as the draft, trade week and West Coast Eagle drug overdoses.]