Ladies & Gentleman, Mr. Terry Wallace
Like the rest of Geelong, we at here at Big League are holding our breath. The predicament the Cats find themselves in means not only do they have to keep on winning, but they must also rely on some teams above them to lose. Not good times. That leaves us in a bit of quandary; it is too early to discount the Cats finals chances and start ushering in the ‘Hatchet’ Hawkins Era, and it is certainly too early to lift our eyes to any possible finals match ups. We find ourselves in journalistic no-mans land, a literary purgatory, a media black hole… And it is times like these I look to Terry Wallace. You see, regardless of the circumstance, the performance of his team, the other major stories around the league, or even if he has a job or not, Terry Wallace holds a weekly press conference, without fail, to push his own agenda and give his unqualified opinions on everything and anything. So, take it away, Terry!
Journo: Terry, you’ve recently suffered season ending injuries to Danny Meyer and Jarrad Oakley-Nicholls; are we playing the kids too soon?
Terry Wallace: I think more than ever, we're playing young kids quicker and earlier into senior football and the game's got faster, harder and stronger and we seem to be losing a few of those younger boys. What seems to happen is that the clubs who are down the ladder have to throw their boys into the mix earlier and quicker than those that are up the top of the ladder. Whether you put them at more risk because they are the lighter-framed bodies, that's something we'll have to review.
Journo: In light of the Chris Tarrant/Ben Johnson incident, plus the recent behaviour of Mel Gibson, have you spoken to your players about the dangers of alcohol abuse?
Terry: Look, more than ever these incidents are being brought to light and these are young guys are being hung out to dry. What seems to happen is that footballers are being targeted, and because they are famous sportsmen we hear about it through the media. Whether or not Mel truly believes the Jews killed Christ, well, that’s something we’ll have to review moving forward.
Journo: With Dean Jones being sacked for describing a Muslim cricketer as a terrorist, have you also mentioned the importance of tolerance for other cultures?
Terry: Probably in the last few years these types of incidents have been occurring a bit more often, and look; our guys get the sensitivity training and what not from the AFL. Look, I wouldn’t get on a plane with Deano this week, but whether or not Dean Jones knows something that we don’t, well that’s just something we’ll have to investigate moving forward.
Journo: Terry, the latest from Lebanon is that Israeli gunboats have shelled a refugee camp; any thoughts?
Terry: Look, this conflict dates back to the 1880’s, when the Zionist movement was initiated in Europe. What seems to have happened is that this movement held that the Jewish people had a right to a state of their own and that it should be in a part of their historic homeland, the area then known as Palestine. Since then there has been a long history of violent and ideological conflict, including the Hebron massacre of 1929, the Great Uprising in the late 1930’s, the 6 day war in the 1960’s and the Israeli invasion of Lebanon in the 80’s. Not to mention all the terrorist type activities after this period including the Munich games fiasco. In between all that, what seems to have happened is that the UN has stepped in to try and resolve all that by dividing the area into 2 states, with mixed results. Look, whether or not we’ll ever see peace in the Middle East, well, that’s something we’ll have to review moving forward.
Journo: Thanks for you time, Terry. Any last thoughts?
Terry: Look, I think everybody is aware that Einstein was a fair scientist, I mean, his theory of relativity, the one based on the general principle which requires all observers to experience the same laws of physics, not just those moving with uniform speed, is fairly well known. But whether or not this needs to be updated, reflecting the traditional kinematic approach, with its formal science and mathematical manipulations being occupied with the physical symbols, well, that’s something we’ll have to review moving forward.
Like the rest of Geelong, we at here at Big League are holding our breath. The predicament the Cats find themselves in means not only do they have to keep on winning, but they must also rely on some teams above them to lose. Not good times. That leaves us in a bit of quandary; it is too early to discount the Cats finals chances and start ushering in the ‘Hatchet’ Hawkins Era, and it is certainly too early to lift our eyes to any possible finals match ups. We find ourselves in journalistic no-mans land, a literary purgatory, a media black hole… And it is times like these I look to Terry Wallace. You see, regardless of the circumstance, the performance of his team, the other major stories around the league, or even if he has a job or not, Terry Wallace holds a weekly press conference, without fail, to push his own agenda and give his unqualified opinions on everything and anything. So, take it away, Terry!
Journo: Terry, you’ve recently suffered season ending injuries to Danny Meyer and Jarrad Oakley-Nicholls; are we playing the kids too soon?
Terry Wallace: I think more than ever, we're playing young kids quicker and earlier into senior football and the game's got faster, harder and stronger and we seem to be losing a few of those younger boys. What seems to happen is that the clubs who are down the ladder have to throw their boys into the mix earlier and quicker than those that are up the top of the ladder. Whether you put them at more risk because they are the lighter-framed bodies, that's something we'll have to review.
Journo: In light of the Chris Tarrant/Ben Johnson incident, plus the recent behaviour of Mel Gibson, have you spoken to your players about the dangers of alcohol abuse?
Terry: Look, more than ever these incidents are being brought to light and these are young guys are being hung out to dry. What seems to happen is that footballers are being targeted, and because they are famous sportsmen we hear about it through the media. Whether or not Mel truly believes the Jews killed Christ, well, that’s something we’ll have to review moving forward.
Journo: With Dean Jones being sacked for describing a Muslim cricketer as a terrorist, have you also mentioned the importance of tolerance for other cultures?
Terry: Probably in the last few years these types of incidents have been occurring a bit more often, and look; our guys get the sensitivity training and what not from the AFL. Look, I wouldn’t get on a plane with Deano this week, but whether or not Dean Jones knows something that we don’t, well that’s just something we’ll have to investigate moving forward.
Journo: Terry, the latest from Lebanon is that Israeli gunboats have shelled a refugee camp; any thoughts?
Terry: Look, this conflict dates back to the 1880’s, when the Zionist movement was initiated in Europe. What seems to have happened is that this movement held that the Jewish people had a right to a state of their own and that it should be in a part of their historic homeland, the area then known as Palestine. Since then there has been a long history of violent and ideological conflict, including the Hebron massacre of 1929, the Great Uprising in the late 1930’s, the 6 day war in the 1960’s and the Israeli invasion of Lebanon in the 80’s. Not to mention all the terrorist type activities after this period including the Munich games fiasco. In between all that, what seems to have happened is that the UN has stepped in to try and resolve all that by dividing the area into 2 states, with mixed results. Look, whether or not we’ll ever see peace in the Middle East, well, that’s something we’ll have to review moving forward.
Journo: Thanks for you time, Terry. Any last thoughts?
Terry: Look, I think everybody is aware that Einstein was a fair scientist, I mean, his theory of relativity, the one based on the general principle which requires all observers to experience the same laws of physics, not just those moving with uniform speed, is fairly well known. But whether or not this needs to be updated, reflecting the traditional kinematic approach, with its formal science and mathematical manipulations being occupied with the physical symbols, well, that’s something we’ll have to review moving forward.
posted by the captain at 10:58 pm
2 Comments:
you're selling who for the what now?
In defence, I actually went to comment twice on this and had my internet was playing up. I can't remember what I was going to say but I do like it when you guys give shit to Terry Wallace (aside the fact that I actually like him - most of the time I forget he actually coaches the Tigers, he never talks about them)
Post a Comment
<< Home