Random thoughts while sticking pins into the crotch of my Graeme Smith Voodoo doll...

Note: What? You didn't think I'd leave you without a stocking filler, did you? Without furhter ado, the random (Christmas) thoughts...

In High Definition, Dale Steyn looks like he’s wearing eye shadow. Could the Seffies have the world’s first emo fast bowler? Does he fire himself up before matches by listening to My Chemical Romance and ‘self-harming’?… There’s something to like about Jason Krejza. Maybe it’s the potential to be a 10-year Test spinner, maybe it’s his positive attitude and strength of character, or maybe it’s because he looks like that guy you knew in high school who smoked too much pot and was prominently involved in renaissance fairs. (And by the way, dropping him for Nathan Hauritz because he leaked a few runs is like going with Jim Carey over Adam Sandler because you want an actor “with more dramatic range”. Geez, who ever thought we’d be pining for the days of Colin ‘funky’ Miller?)… It’s difficult for Brett Lee to consistently hit 150km/h these days with that giant fork sticking out of his back. He is now actually slower than his brother Shane. Seriously, I haven’t seen a drop in form this drastic since Interpol’s third album… Mrs Watson, who will tell you he knows very little about cricket, summed up both captains perfectly thusly; (Graeme Smith on screen) “I don’t like that guy; he’s suss” and, “Ponting’s a cunt”… Speaking of Ponting, he’s currently the favourite to break the record for “most tenuous use of a cricketing analogy in a low-budget commercial”… Just in case anyone needs another reason to like Corey Enright, check out that moustache! Glorious!... So, Ben Cousins gets his last chance, 11th hour reprieve, trains with Richmond for one day and then admits to being mates with an underworld figure accused of murder. Gotta love his form. And while we’re here, Richmond fans need to chill the fuck out. This is not like Carlton getting a 24-year old Chris Judd in his prime; this is a club with a history of failed recycled players and list management fuck-ups recruiting a 30 year-old, recovering drug addict with two dodgy hamstrings, who hasn’t played in two years: To paraphrase Winston Wolfe, let’s not start patting each other on the back just yet… Note to Geelong's 2009 forward line coaches: we have an Ablett, let's use him... Another Varcoe and another player drafted with a serious leg injury. Good times... Wait, we have a Motlop now? Is Mrs Watson aware of this? Is this going to effect him renewing his membership?... Is it wrong for me to secretly wish that Trent Croad's foot injury is Egan-esque?... Say the Dockers win the NAB Cup, considering their last five, ten, hell, their whole existence, how convincing would they have to be for you to back them to play finals this year? If they won every NAB cup game by 80 points? 100 points? How high would that line have to be?... StKilda delisting Aaron Fiora and then trading for Farren Ray is like changing the channel from Friends to Veronica's closet... Not to put a dampener on things, but hearing about Matthew Egan’s latest surgery fills me with about as much hope as hearing about Mark Phillipousis’ latest comeback attempt… I’m not saying he’s a project player, but Geelong’s 1st round draft choice, Mitch Brown, has the physique of Mary-Kate Olsen, minus the coke problem. As far as you know… See ya in 2009.