"I Can't Get Me No..."

It is a modern day rivalry. Two young upstart Victorian teams, battling it out in highly anticipated, physical and usually entertaining contests. And even though the Cats have taken the upper hand in recent time, there is still something extremely satisfying about beating the Saints.

There is something satisfying about hearing Leigh Montagna, talk up his team’s chances during the week, minutes after dismounting a Luna Park roller-coaster. I got flashbacks of Walnut Thomas taking his then undefeated team to a midweek session of ‘The Day After Tomorrow’ instead of hitting the track at Moorabbin, and then getting duly beaten that weekend. Montagna was quoted as saying, “if the midfield start getting their hands on the footy first and give good supply to our key forwards and the defenders hold up…” So let me get this straight, Leigh, if the midfiled plays well, and the forwards play well, and the backline plays well, you might be a chance to win? Gee, ya think? As Mrs Watson said, “Leigh Montagna: Alleged rapist, confirmed asshole”.

There is something satisfying about beating the Saints vaunted, three-pronged tall forward line. (Yes, I used the word vaunted.) As the game has evolved into a constant flowing and running midfielders game, St.Kilda has been stuck with a top-heavy forward line which leaves them vulnerable on the rebound. With forward pressure being a buzz term at the moment, the Saints had Fraser Gehrig leaning against the point post and Stephen Milne eyeing off open drinks in the crowd as Scarlett and co repeatedly waltzed out of defence to set-up goals. It was also satisfying to see Harry Taylor more than hold his own against Riewoldt. (While we’re on Taylor, are we sure it isn’t just Matthew Egan in a different jumper? Great draft pick, Cats.)

There is something satisfying about seeing the Cats midfield respond after getting dominated in the clearances in the first quarter. Corey, Ling, Bartel and the rest turned it on when the Cats were challenged and, through a quick burst of about five goals in ten minutes during the third quarter, put the game out of reach. They have the look of a team that knows how to win and is hungry for a fight. The more the Saints pushed the more the Cats pushed back.

There is something satisfying about seeing Geelong’s second and third ruck options compete well against a team with a notoriously shitty ruck division. The silkworm Mark Blake, Mrs Watson’s favourite player, is growing in confidence and has already improved from last year. Trent West has also been impressive and looks surprising capable down forward as well (you heard it here first.)

There was something satisfying about the Cats physicality and willingness to impose themselves on the contest and the man. There are probably a few incidents that will be looked at by the match review panel, but it is good to remember that it is a contact sport, and the best teams have always had a physically imposing element to them. It’s also satisfying to see guys like Dal Santo and Clarke get whacked occasionally.

There is something satisfying about sending Saints fans home early, and hearing Mrs Watson heckle them down the aisle, regardless of age (yes, that’s right, he gave a Granny a send-off). Actually, it was good to hear him, and occasionally join in, in sledging any Saints fans within earshot all day. If any of them were in doubt about our thoughts regarding Aaron Fiora having testicles, well, we certainly cleared those concerns up.

Whatever it is, that sense of extra satisfaction is always present after beating the Saints. Perhaps it goes back to that pre-season grand final and the whole ‘best young list in the competition’ thing. Perhaps it’s because of the amount of hype and press they have received over the past few years. Perhaps it’s because of their over-styled hair, or because Grant Thomas was a ‘Grade A’ whack-job, or because Stephen Milne is a dirty, rat-fuck, ‘alleged’ date rapist…

Actually, yeah, it’s probably that last one.